ByJack Carr, writer at Creators.co
You are the Princess Shireen of the House Baratheon, and you are my daughter.
Jack Carr

It's been a while since we last checked in with King Kong. You might be tempted to ask what the world's most frequently-resurrected gorilla has been doing in the twelve years since he last terrorized the big screen with Naomi Watts in tow — the answer, if the new trailer for #KongSkullIsland is anything to go by, is eating. Lots.

That ravenous appetite would explain why the Kong of Skull Island is exponentially huger than he was back then, kind of like when you don't see your normal-sized uncle for a few years, but then you go home for Christmas and there he is masquerading convincingly as Santa, stuffing his face with cookies.

We got our first look at Kong: Skull Island back in summer at Comic-Con, but yesterday Warner Bros. dropped an official trailer for the franchise reboot, dropping Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson and friends off at the titular island on what appears to be the mother of all suicide missions. Check it out below.

While the Comic-Con teaser was pretty cray cray in itself, this new trailer paints a picture of a movie which looks like a properly wild ride. Let's take a look at five things we learned from the new Skull Island trailer.

1. How To Wake Your Beast

"We use explosives to shape the earth, helping us to map the surface of the island," proclaims Corey Hawkins's US Army Sergeant as he briefs Packard (Samuel L. Jackson), Captain Conrad (#TomHiddleston) and co. about their expedition to Skull Island.

To the sane mind, that sounds an awful lot like a surefire way not to make friends with anybody, or anything, who might inhabit the island — so before the team even lands, Kong has a solid excuse for bringing the beef. Good work, guys.

2. Kong Is Not XL. Kong Is Not XXL. Kong Is XXXL+, Bitches.

The new poster art already dropped a few small clues about the phenomenal size of this incarnation of King Kong:

But, even that did not prepare us for the image of the ape quite literally crushing the cockpit of a military helicopter in the palm of its hand. What the frig!

This bitch is big, so Conrad, Weaver (Brie Larson) and the rest better be sharp about convincing him they've crashed his party with good intentions. Although, frankly, the general level of intellect displayed by the people in this movie up until this point doesn't give me much faith.

3. Dafuq Is THAT Thing?

We all know #KingKong and #Godzilla are going to cross paths in what could either be the greatest bromance or the fiercest cock fight of all time. What we didn't know was that Skull Island would begin expanding the monsterverse with creatures like this...

...which looks kind of like a water buffalo-horse with a '90s curtain fringe. And that's topped in the terror stakes by an arachnid levitating on legs taller than pine trees, not to mention the enormous lizard-like beast that appears to be confused about which franchise it's in. Jurassic World was last year, son.

4. Holy Beard!

I mean, this one is pretty self-explanatory.

5. Turning On The Style

The Comic-Con trailer (which was several shades of awesome in itself) didn't really do much to highlight the time period in which Skull Island is set. This trailer immediately rectifies that with Credence Clearwater Revival's stone cold classic Bad Moon Rising, in the process giving the movie a major dose of early '70s style. Essentially, this is director Jordan Vogt-Roberts's love letter to the war movies of the era, and it looks and sounds absolutely bangin'.

Kong: Skull Island rampages its way into theaters March 10, 2017, just a week after Logan. Will the legendary ape and his mysterious monster friends tear the Wolverine to shreds at the box office?

What did you love best about the Skull Island trailer?