Posted by Tom Chapman @tchapman
tweet: tomtomchap Warden of the North - bearded, tattooed and square eyed 'til the end
Tom Chapman

Ya'har mateys, all hands on deck, it's speculation time on where the morbid world of #RyanMurphy will be taking #AmericanHorrorStory's seventh season. We may only just have wrapped up Roanoke, but the theories are already flooding in on where we could be sailing next. Clue: you'll probably need a life jacket.

As we waved goodbye to Roanoke from our widow's walk, those crafty marketers over on #FX slipped us one final clue. The Twitter account for the show gifted a tweet stating, "The monsters are all gone," set to a serene backdrop of some waves, and accompanied by some soothing sea sounds. The rumor of taking the horror aboard a cruise ship already did the rounds a few years back, but the idea had seemingly sunk — until now. So, could we really be heading into the realm of Jack Sparrow and Captain Pugwash? Just as long as we don't do a meta documentary on catching a giant shark, I am more than happy to dip my toe in the water.

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Ships Ahoy

Image: FX
Image: FX

So, apart from a cryptic tweet of choppy waters and fan hopes for a wet 'n' wild time, what else are we basing this on? Murphy had promised that the Season 6 finale would give us hints for Season 7, but at first glance we were lost at sea. However, eagle-eyed viewers noticed that when that spooky Grudge/Chen ghost attacked the Spirit Chasers team, a great big clue was right in front of us. While under attack, a model ship tumbled from the shelf, then conveniently landed right in the spotlight. It could just be a coincidence, but when everything means something, it could be time to drop anchor of this theory and accept the inevitable!

A Boat Load Of Horror

Image: FX
Image: FX

There is no denying that taking to the Seven Seas certainly offers up a whole host of horror, with some of the greatest horror tropes taking place at sea. Jaws, Ghost Ship, Open Water, The Beach... Deep Blue Sea — all have watery graves. The world of horror stereotypes off land is yet to be tapped into by Murphy and co., so let's run down some ideas of where we set a course for!

  • American Horror Story: The Mary Celeste

The most obvious one would be the ghost ship idea. If it has created five Pirates of the Caribbean movies, then we can at least pull off one AHS season. Plus there are oodles of conspiracy theories and real-life cases of ships lost at sea in mysterious circumstances, most famously the Mary Celeste.

We know how the show loves its period pieces, so having a 19th Century shipwreck a la The Black Rock in LOST could allow Kathy Bates to flap her olde worlde chops once more as a salty fishwife.

  • American Horror Story: Bermuda

No, not the horror of a grown man in Bermuda shorts, it is of course the whole Bermuda Triangle mystery. Don't look to the abysmal Triangle from 2005 starring Sam Neill either, because rarely does TV get it right when tackling the Bermuda Triangle. As one of the most unexplained phenomenons out there, it is about time someone did something other than a cheesy paranormal documentary.

The Horror Story version could take it in the vein of real-life story Alive!, following the Andes plane crash 1972. The passengers of a plane find themselves crash landed in the triangular terror, then slowly descend into madness. The scope of this is much bigger, and wouldn't just focus on one group. The various crews of planes and ships could meet on some mysterious shipwreck island, leading us on to...

  • American Horror Story: Shipwreck

If you are afraid of heights and planes aren't your thing, take the same theme with a luxurious cruise liner. Taking on ideas of Ghost Ship, The Poseidon Adventure, and Titanic, a luxury liner runs into trouble, forcing the cast to band together. Imagine Evan Peters and Lily Rabe reliving their March and Montgomery performances as a socialite couple of all fur coat and no knickers.

Roanoke may have been a mixed-bag of a season, but if it showed us one thing, the show knows how to create a menacing mob. The murderous Roanoke tribe were kept in the dark just enough to develop their own terror. If you take your cast onto an island, it sure wouldn't be long before you can add in themes of cannibalism, murder, and maybe even a polar bear (LOST reference again).

  • American Horror Story: Little Mermaid

The typical joke idea, but one tackling sea creatures, Greek gods, and a good ol' AHS sing song. Sarah Paulson could sing "Under The Sea" as the new version of Season 2's "The Name Game." Just imagine Kathy Bates as Ursula the Sea Witch, Cheyenne Jackson as King Triton, and Taissa Farmiga as Ariel. Clamshell bras for everyone!

That Sinking Feeling

Image: FX
Image: FX

Of course, we could be way off the mark on this one, the show has a checkered past with the reliability of its clues. Season 2 spelled out the theme of witches pretty well for Coven with the game Candyland. Apart from returning psychic Billie Dean Howard filming a TV show in the Hotel Cortez, there was no hint from Season 5 that Roanoke would be two hyper-realistic paranormal shows. Season 4's recurring imagery of a top hat was an allusion to the 1935 film Top Hat (set in a hotel), so that link was tenuous at best. However, would they really spread the theme of an ocean adventure out in front of us so clearly if it didn't mean something? Knowing my luck, it will probably be American Horror Story: Summer Camp — which I would also love.

Check out our video of the Roanoke "Name Game," and don't forget our poll below!

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Is American Horror Story about to sail into trouble?