Posted by Heather Snowden @heathers
Staff Writer at MP. Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona.
Heather Snowden

Perhaps it was the relief that the world didn't spontaneously combust the second the clock turned midnight; maybe a wave of inspiration spawned from the "noughty" name. Whatever the reason, as we woke up on the fresh side of a new decade — otherwise known as the millennium — ideas for a whole host of seriously sexy cinematic experiences seem to have woken up with us.

Becoming catalysts for our sexual awakenings and blowing our tiny little minds, so #sexy were some of these scenes that they truly deserve to be re-watched, revived and reflected upon. And that is why we've compiled the below list for you, comprised of the 14 best #sexscenes the decade had to offer. In advance: you're welcome.

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FYI: All the movies are ranked based on their Rotten Tomatoes score (lovingly titled "splatometer" to fit the theme), so blame the critics if your favorite piece of saucy cinema didn't hit the right spot.

14. Magnificent Mammories — Friday the 13th (2009)

Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th
  • Directed by: Marcus Nispel
  • Starring: Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears
  • What's sexy about this scene: Depending on your tastes, this scene is as hilarious as it is graphic. If you can get past the part when Travis Van Winkle tells Julianna Guill that she has "stupendous" tits and perfect "nipple placement," then hats off to you. The fact this scene (outside of the movie, obviously) can only be found on porn sites should give you an indication of what you're working with.
  • Splatometer: 25%

13. Naughty By Numbers — 9 Songs (2004)

  • Directed by: Michael Winterbottom
  • Starring: Kieran O'Brien, Margo Stilley, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
  • What's sexy about this scene? A movie that oozes explicit sex, the basic plot line is as follows: go to nine concerts, hear nine songs, fuck nine times. The sex is pretty intense — rather than your porno-esque guffaws of fakery, these guys mean business, keeping their shit quiet until...well, until they can't keep it together any longer. A total sex-fest, there are a fair few scenes worth mentioning, but none I feel comfortable writing about — you'll have to check them for yourself ;)
  • Splatometer: 29%

12. Getting In Gere — Unfaithful (2002)

  • Directed by: Adrian Lyne
  • Starring: Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Olivier Martinez
  • What's sexy about this scene? It's not just one scene that makes this movie super salacious — the entire movie is a bang-fest! When sex-starved Connie (Lane) cheats on her husband (Gere), her hunger is sated to say the least. Over the course of their passionate affair, Connie and Martel (Martinez) get jiggy all over his apartment, in restrooms, movie theaters and corridors. Oof!
  • Splatometer: 49%

11. Getting Randy In The Rain — The Notebook (2004)

  • Directed by: Nick Cassavetes
  • Starring: Gena Rowlands, James Garner, Rachel McAdams
  • What's sexy about this scene: Nope, I'm not talking about the scene in which #RachelMcAdams' character loses her virginity — Goslings' hideous '30s style boxers and her consistent nattering more than ruin that vibe. I'm on about their escape from the rain, which is complete with soaking bodies, wall-pressed kisses and the ultimate romantic movie move — being carried up the stairs.
  • Splatometer: 52%

10. Trojan Treats — Troy (2004)

  • Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
  • Starring: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom
  • What's sexy about this scene: It's basically a given that any movie about a bunch of Greek and Trojan studs mincing about in armored vests is going to be eye-candy central, but #BradPitt's sex scene with Rose Byrne really took the biscuit, and fully cemented his position as one of the planet's sexiest men.
  • Splatometer: 54%

9. All About The Smarts — Road Trip (2000)

  • Directed by: Todd Phillips
  • Starring: Breckin Meyer, Seann William Scott, Amy Smart
  • What's sexy about this scene: If you were a teenage boy in the millennium, then Amy Smart stripping down to a minuscule pair of red pants in 2000's Road Trip was undoubtedly a highlight of your curious (read: pervy) little life. While your goodies probably retreated in horror the minute the video documentation of said sex scene was mailed to Josh's (Meyer) then-girlfriend, that temporary awkwardness was more than compensated for by your sexual awakening.
  • Splatometer: 57%

8. What Happens In Paris — The Dreamers (2003)

  • Directed by: Bernardo Bertolucci
  • Starring: Michael Pitt, Louis Garrel, Eva Green
  • What's sexy about this scene? If you can get past the fact that Eva Green and Louis Garrel are majorly incesty, their three-ways with #BoardwalkEmpire's Michael Pitt are pretty flippin' hot. In fact, they're so full-on that Green's agents begged her not to take the role!
  • Splatometer: 61%

7. Portman's Podium Party — Closer (2004)

  • Directed by: Mike Nichols
  • Starring: Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Clive Owen
  • What's sexy about this scene: Wearing nothing more than a bejeweled bra, g-string and pink wig, #NataliePortman's podium party for Clive Owen is as enticing as it is mind blowing. Stepping out of her usual good-girl shoes and into some pretty stonking stripper stilettos, by the time she opens her legs for ol' Clive, you'll be reaching for a cold flannel.
  • Splatometer: 68%

6. Lee Bends Over — Secretary (2002)

Secretary
Secretary
  • Directed by: Steven Shainberg
  • Starring: James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jeremy Davies
  • What's sexy about this scene? Move over 50 Shades of snore — 2002's Secretary is all you need to satisfy your BDSM curiosities. During the 3-minute take, Lee (Gyllenhaal) is forced to read aloud a typo-filled letter she penned by her boss Mr. Grey (Spader), who instructs her to bend over the desk so he can spank her ass as she does so. While this may sound like painful invasion of privacy, Lee welcomes the pain (as it comes from an outside source, rather than her internal proclivity for self-harm); thus begins of their kink-filled relationship.
  • Splatometer: 75%

5. Indecent Exposure — Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
  • Directed by: Woody Allen
  • Starring: Rebecca Hall, Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem
  • What's sexy about this scene? This scene was mostly included because it involves two of the sexiest women on the planet, #ScarlettJohansson and #PenelopeCruz, making out in a darkroom. Later, Javier Bardem joins them for a quickie — what more do you want?
  • Splatometer: 81%

4. Sienna's Seduction — Layer Cake (2004)

Layer Cake
Layer Cake
  • Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
  • Starring: Daniel Craig, Sienna Miller, Michael Gambon
  • What's sexy about this scene: Can you imagine if Sienna Miller turned up to your hotel room in a black satin suit, pushed you on the bed before jumping on top, then tottered off to the bathroom to slip into some seriously sexy lingerie? Unfortunately for you, that's never going to happen — but this Layer Cake scene certainly makes it easier to picture.
  • Splatometer: 81%

3. Betty's Sexual Awakening — Mulholland Drive (2001)

Mulholland Drive
Mulholland Drive
  • Directed By: David Lynch
  • Starring: Naomi Watts, Laura Harring, Justin Theroux
  • What's sexy about it? David Lynch isn't exactly renowned for producing smokin' material — however, Mulholland Drive's sex scene between Naomi Watts (Betty) and Laura Harring (Rita) is undoubtedly one of the hottest scenes of the decade. This scene was a sexual oasis in the midst of a sea of incomprehensible dreamscapes; what this movie may lack in sense, it more than makes up for in steam.
  • Splatometer: 82%

2. Library Lust — Atonement (2007)

Atonement
Atonement
  • Directed by: Joe Wright
  • Starring: Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Brenda Blethyn
  • What's sexy about this scene? The passion. So intense and repressed are Cecilia (Knightley) and Robbie's (McAvoy) feelings for one another that as soon as they touch the emotion practically bursts through the screen. Beautifully and suggestively shot, this is a scene that manages to be incredibly sexy without flaunting the flesh.
  • Splatometer: 83%

1. The Hotel Threesome — Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

Y Tu Mamá También
Y Tu Mamá También
  • Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón
  • Starring: Maribel Verdú, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna
  • What's sexy about it? Although 2001's Y Tu Mamá También delivered plenty in the way of road-trip goals, there was one scene in particular that elevated journeying across Mexico with your BFF and a sexy hitchhiker to the top of everyones To Do list. Yep, I'm talking about that hotel scene, the one in which Diego Luna and Gael García Bernal enjoy a short but (literally) explosive threesome with Maribel Verdú. And while the romp caused a brief ruckus for their character's friendship for sometime afterwards, it promises to stay in your mind for much longer.
  • Splatometer: 92%

Can you think of any seriously sexy scenes from the naughty noughties that are missing from this list?