Posted by Elle McFarlane @ellemcf
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Did you know that whilst Matthew has been dominating the lime light, racking up award after award, including an oscar for The Dallas Buyers Club, there is a second Oscar contender in the McConaughey family?

Meet Matthew’s self-made millionaire, wheeler-dealer, beer-guzzling brother, Rooster. Sixteen years Matthews’ senior, Rooster began working for their father in the Texan oil fields at the tender age of twelve, and today he is a multi-millionare with his own reality TV show, in a nod to his brother, aptly named The West Texas Investors Club.

With his larger than life persona, lovable roguish antics and alarming ability to guzzle more beer than Homer Simpson set lose in the Duff Factory, here are the top ten times Rooster McConaughey has proved himself just as worthy of winning an Oscar as his younger brother.

1. For Best Display Of Dedication To An Alcoholic Beverage:

Whilst his wife was too consumed with post-labour pain to notice exactly what he was doing, Rooster took this rare opportunity to demonstrate his immense love of beer by officially naming his son ‘Miller Lyte.’

2. For Most Convincing Rags-To-Riches-To Ruin-To-Riches Story:

Working with his dad in the oil fields from a young age, Rooster eventually clambered up the ladder, becoming a millionaire by the age of thirty, before loosing the entirety of his fortune the following year.

Not one to wallow, he picked himself up again, climbed back up that ladder and is today worth an estimated fifty five million dollars.

3. For Most Movie-Like Inspirational Lines Said In A Non-Movie Context:

Speaking to Fortune, Rooster followed up his moving statement that ‘beer goes with business,’ by stating that:

"The best advice is that when the chips are down, don’t stay down – get off your ass. It doesn’t mean you’re done. As long as you’re breathing, you’re not done.”

A sentiment he again echoed talking to The Wrap:

“Making money isn’t that hard. Holding onto it’s the hard part.”

Amen to that Rooster, amen to that.

4. For Most Unappetizing Photo Of A Meal Posted On Facebook

Whilst most of us try to impress our Facebook friends and frenemies with our culinary skills, Rooster saw a gap in the market to do precisely the opposite, sharing with us this frankly distressing image of a dinner comprising of a frog, a rabbit and a rattlesnake.

5. For Most Cunning Plot To Get A TV Presenter To Stand In Cow Sh*t

Whilst giving an Entertainment Tonight presenter a tour of his Texan ranch, Rooster makes a rather compelling argument that if you’ve not stepped in cow sh*t, you’ve not really been in Texas.

Succumbing to the peer pressure to prove he really was in Texas, the clearly apprehensive presenter falls for Rooster’s cunning plan and puts his foot right in the pat. Forward to ‘0:59 for video evidence.

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6. For Most Convincing Portrayal Of A VIP In A Toilet

To give himself a taste of what life must be like for his younger brother, Rooster hauled himself up in an airplane toilet, thanked CNBC for giving him a ‘private cabin,’ and said of the experience:

"I feel like the Beatles, one screaming fan went so far as to say if u don't come out soon I'm going to piss on myself.”

7. For Best Subject Of Online Targeted-Marketing

With a persona which is positively the definition of maternal, it came as no surprise when Rooster was ear-marked as a potential 'surrogate angel.'

8. For Most Sage Parenting Advice Given In A TV Interview

Revealing his opinions on both wild dogs and child-rearing, Rooster told CNBC:

“What’s more important, raising a bunch of goddarn wild dogs who go out here and disrespect the world….or are you gonna raise some kids that are pluses to the world."

9. For Most Convincing Portrayal Of Modern Masculinity In An Instagram Post

Likening both himself and his West Texas Investors Club colleagues to dolphins as opposed to business sharks, the world rejoiced as Rooster embraced a more liberal, refreshing and much needed softer version of masculinity.

10. For Best Granddad In A Leading Role

Stepping up for one of his most challenging roles to date, Rooster yet again proves be a shining example to us all. Oh to be half the man, the beer-guzzling dolphin, the granddad that Rooster manages to be:

Rooster McConaughey Facebook
Rooster McConaughey Facebook

So, who would you rather share a beer with, Matthew or Rooster?

(Sources: SRS Show; CNBC; Fortune; The Wrap; Entertainment Tonight)