Posted by Solon Papageorgiou
@spapag
Solon Papageorgiou

They are the worst of the worst, and by worst, I mean the most ridiculous! During their 29-year run, Task Force X included many strange and laughable members among their ranks, members who were usually killed off pretty early, just to prove that the missions were indeed dangerous. After doing some research and revisiting my old comic books, I created a list with the top 5 most ridiculous members of the squad that you won’t see in the sequel. Enjoy!

5. The Writer

This is a character solely created for comedic purposes, and his appearance in the Suicide Squad pages is conclusive evidence of Grant Morrison’s good sense of humor. The Writer resembles Morrison, a notorious writer working for DC, and has the power to control the script, parodying Morrison himself. During a mission with the Squad, he uses his odd powers to defeat many enemies, until he suffers from a sudden case of writer's block and gets killed by a werebeast. Don’t worry, the actual Morrison is alive and well.

4. Javelin

Javelin, a former Olympic athlete from Germany, turned to villainy and tried to defeat the Green Lantern by throwing javelins at him. Javelin is one of those joke villains created just for laughs; however, he actually managed to win a spot in the Squad, since they needed his skills for — I don’t know why. Maybe they wanted to include a minor ex-celebrity on the team. His days with Task Force X were extremely short lived, with him getting run over by a jeep while trying to protect an associate. At least, he suffered a heroic death.

3. Big Sir

Wow. Just wow. I know people with no inspiration at all, but Big Sir is the real deal. Couldn’t he find a more creative name for himself? Couldn’t he just google "cool supervillain names’’? Also, according to Wikipedia, his powers are super strength and card-counting.

Although I’m making fun of this Juggernaut wannabe, it should be noted that he’s my favorite C-list villain in the DC universe, mainly because of how mistreated he is. His biggest accomplishment is being a member of the Injustice League, one of the largest and most dangerous villain teams in the history of comics. Sad thing is that this particular version of the Injustice League was an extremely crappy one, with members such as Cluemaster, the Clock King, and Mighty Bruce.

His naivety signed his own death warrant, with Big Sir getting killed by an explosive robot disguised as an innocent child during a mission with the Suicide Squad.

2. The Thinker

The Thinker is one of those characters with multiple costumes, having both a ridiculous and a surprisingly impressive suit. He is kind of a successful baddie, at least, compared to the others on the list. He began his career as a criminal mastermind, remaining mostly in the shadows, rightfully earning his name. An enemy of the original Flash, he was a member of both the Injustice Society and Task Force X. As you might have guessed, he wasn’t one of the most imposing members, wearing an utterly ludicrous helmet that makes him look like a projector fell on his head. He probably took lessons on how to create his own suit from Crazy Quilt.

The Thinker was seemingly killed by his fellow Squad teammate Weasel, however, he was later revealed to be alive, suffering from cancer. The Flash actually offered him help, but he refused, desiring a peaceful death.

The second Thinker is a man named Cliff Carmichael. He lost the award For Most Ridiculous Name to Marvel's Paste-Pot Pete. Cliff continued the legacy of his predecessor after stealing his helmet and using his mind control powers to commit crimes. He also became a Suicide Squad member, later betraying the group, only to be shot dead by King Faraday.

The Thinker's Cool Outfit
The Thinker's Cool Outfit

1. Mr. 104

At No. 1, we’ve got the villain with the most impractical name ever. Mr. 104 was originally named 103, after the 103 elements of the periodic table. He later renamed himself Mr. 104, due to the addition of Rutherfordium. He probably should change his name once more, since we’ve got even more elements now.

Although Mr. 104 might seem silly, he actually has a set of incredibly useful powers, being able to physically transform and control every existing element. However, this didn’t prevent him from getting killed off, blasted from behind by Rocket Red in Russia.

Can you believe that this guy once transformed into Kryptonite in order to fight Superman and failed, being defeated without a sweat by both Superman and Power Girl? So, he transformed into their only weakness and he still lost without a fight? Not good, Mr. 104, not good.

You had so much potential...
You had so much potential...

If there's one thing that remains, it's the the Squad will remain tight, even through lineup changes and new adventures:

If you could add any superhero to the Suicide Squad, who would it be?