Posted by Heather Snowden @heathers
Staff Writer at MP. Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona.
Heather Snowden

Keep calm and carry on, Russia, for if you don't the river of sentient slime currently oozing its way through the city of Norilsk may just decide to decimate everything in its path, Ghostbusters II style. Or at least, it looks like it might.

As you might imagine, waking up to a river resembling the stuff Dan Aykroyd et al shoved in a toaster to make it dance back in 1989, was a little alarming to residents of Norilsk, an industrial city inside the Arctic Circle — hence the reason a bunch of them took to social media to share the horror:

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According to The Guardian's translation, local authorities have ordered an investigation to unearth what on earth turned the river blood red, but most seem to assume that a "break in a Norilsk Nickel slurry pipe," from the local metal plant is to blame.

Pollution researcher Denis Koshevoi, a PhD candidate at the Vernadsky Institute for Geochemistry and Analytical Chemistry, said:

“Periodically there are accidents when these pipes break and the solutions spill and get into the Daldykan – that’s why it changes color."

So then, a sensible soul would conclude the color of the river is due to the iron oxide mixing with water but then, there's little sense in sentient slime — but that hasn't stopped this happening before now, has it?

What would you do if Ghostbusters II's slime monster became a real thing?