Posted by Jack Carr @jackc
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Jack Carr

A few days ago, some ambitious soul created a petition for Quentin Tarantino to be hired as director of #Deadpool2. Mind you, studios don't so much hire #Tarantino as he hires them. Either way, the recent departure of Tim Miller from the Deadpool sequel leaves an ominous vacancy in the director's chair.

I've seen a lot of stuff written about why Tarantino would suck as director of Deadpool 2, from how he wouldn't work as a cog in a big, slick studio machine to the fact that if he's only going to make a total of ten movies (The Hateful Eight being the eighth or ninth, depending on how you count the two Kill Bills), he probably shouldn't waste one of the remaining two on a character like Deadpool.

That's a perfectly sensible argument, but Tarantino didn't become the legend he is by being sensible. Let's dive into five reasons the collision of Tarantino and #Deadpool could be the perfect storm of insensibility and insanity.

5. Do You Remember The Story of Deadpool?

There are many things to love about Deadpool, but its generic, completely forgettable origin story is not one of them. Tarantino's movies are all about story — stories that stretch the boundaries of credibility, could only exist in the head of a mad man, and yet, somehow, work.

Check out the clip above for all of Deadpool's 4th wall breaks.

Deadpool, the character, has made all the Green Lantern jokes already. There's no point in coming back for round two without a genuinely strong story for the jokes to live inside. Tarantino would find a way to wrap Deadpool's deadpan sensibilities into a story worthy of Ryan Reynolds' deadpan talents.

4. Whisper It, But...

Tarantino's last couple of movies have fallen a little... flat. That's majorly subjective, of course, but The Hateful Eight felt a little indulgent, and it was weird seeing Tarantino, the man who never stands still, revisit the Western immediately after Django Unchained, which itself wasn't half as good as Inglourious Basterds. An average Tarantino is still better than most other movies, but it would be good to see him work his magic on something a little more pulpy.

Speaking of which...

3. Imagine The Fight Scenes

Deadpool had some superbly choreographed combat scenes — the car shootout on the highway is pretty incredible — but just imagine what Tarantino would do for the Merc's combat skills. The idea of Deadpool incorporating the martial arts into his repertoire of moves frankly makes me salivate, and seeing as we're clearly never getting that third Kill Bill movie, I'll take a Deadpool flick with even 10% of this scene's brilliance:

Tarantino doing a superhero is such an abstract idea, we may as well discard all the rules of what a superhero film is or should be and just roll with it.

2. He Wanted To Do Luke Cage

Prior to making Pulp Fiction, Tarantino was mulling over the idea of doing a #LukeCage movie. He spoke this year about his vision of Marvel's Hero For Hire — essentially, it would have been a '70s-homaging Blaxploitation movie. Which, in my opinion, sounds pretty fucking stellar.

Like... yes please? (Marvel Comics)
Like... yes please? (Marvel Comics)

That never happened, but clearly Tarantino is happy to play in the world of superheroes if given enough room to stretch his Tarantino-y tentacles and employ his trademark Quentinisms. And Deadpool is already the foulest-mouthed anti-hero on the block — it's not like I'm calling for QT to direct Spider-Man. Although...

1. Samuel L. Jackson Would Probably Play Cable

Sure, Samuel L. Jackson already has a prominent role in the #MCU (although if anyone knows where the hell Nick Fury's at, the world kind of needs him right now), but as we know all too well, Marvel and Fox are separate beasts — meaning Quentin's frequent numero uno collaborator is free to try his talented (but not particularly discerning) hand at Cable, the Merc's telepathic warrior buddy.

Then again, we could just have Keira Knightley. I'd definitely be OK with that.

So, there you have it: Five reasons Quentin Tarantino should most definitely turn his unique attentions to the Merc with a Mouth. Yeah, I know — I'm playing devil's advocate here, but why not? If you agree passionately, or think I'm wildly wrong, tell me in the comments below.

Poll

Quentin & Wade, sitting in a tree...