Posted by Elise Jost @elise
"It's a UNIX system! I know this!"
Elise Jost

There must be another notion of time on Planet #Celebrity, where you can wait a year or two before getting in touch with a sick colleague even when they're supposedly battling a tumorous lump in their mouth. This weekend, Basic Instinct actor #MichaelDouglas expressed his concern for his former The Ghost and the Darkness co-star #ValKilmer at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane in London, who he declared was battling the same kind of tongue cancer he had once overcome:

"Val was a wonderful guy who is dealing with exactly what I had, and things don't look to good for him. My prayers are with him. That's why you haven't heard too much from Val lately."

Well, it turns out Kilmer and Douglas last spoke about two years ago, according to Kilmer himself, which honestly just makes it feel like Douglas forgot to send out his well-wishes at the same event last year.

Val Kilmer Doesn't Have Cancer, Everybody

Most importantly, though, those well-wishes seem to be completely irrelevant, because Kilmer doesn't even have cancer: The Real Genius actor, who we should never forget starred in Batman Forever, took to Facebook to dismiss any rumors about his health. He also reminded fans that he wasn't at all unheard of lately, thank you very much:

I love Michael Douglas but he is misinformed. The last time I spoke to him was almost two years ago, when I asked him for a referral for a specialist to get a diagnosis for a lump in my throat, which prevented me from continuing a tour of my play CITIZEN TWAIN. I ended up using a team at UCLA and have no cancer whatsoever. I still have a swollen tongue and am rehabbing steadily.

Michael Douglas as Hank Pym in 'Ant-Man' / Marvel Studios
Michael Douglas as Hank Pym in 'Ant-Man' / Marvel Studios

Though he was aware that his belief in Christian Science, which postulates that prayer and love can replace traditional medical care, might fuel speculation about his health, there's absolutely no need to worry.

Some fans have mistakenly thought my silence about my personal issues meant that somehow I wasn't being responsible to my health, because of my reliance on prayer and Love. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It's not the first time Kilmer had to post a clarification of his health status on his Facebook page, in between two pictures of a 22kt tumbleweed. In October 2015, he had already denied he was battling cancer, so let's hope the rumors are indeed not true!

While Kilmer is promoting #CinemaTwain, a recording of his stage play #CitizenTwain, Michael Douglas is set to appear alongside Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom and John Malkovich in Unlocked.

What's your favorite film starring Val Kilmer?