Posted by Sam Plank @samplank
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Sam Plank

Supernatural...balls, do I love this show!

Did I use that Bobby Singer quote right?

#SupernaturalSeason12 kicked off Thursday with “Keep Calm and Carry On.” It definitely carried on from the Season 11 finale, but there was no way I was keeping calm!

Being a HUGE fan of this show since day one, I've come to expect certain things to happen. And they usually do, right when I thought they would. But sometimes, even after 11 seasons and counting, the Winchester boys still find ways to surprise me. Episode 1 of the new season had quite a few expected surprises, and a few unexpected ones, too.

This spoiler warning shouldn't come as a surprise, though:

We Saw That Coming

Season 11 left us with Sammy shot and Dean chilling with his long-dead mom in the park, thanks to God's sister (do I capitalize 'sister'?), Amara. I really can't wait for Dean and Mama Mary to have all sorts of chats about where she's been, what Dean has done, and for Mary to give him a stern talking to for that whole Deanmon deal.

Seriously, Dean. That was a freaky time for all of us. Not cool, dude. Not cool.

Didn't See Her Doing That, Though

I figured Mary was gonna go badass on someone in the episode, and she did, saving Dean and Cas**:

But taking Dean down, before she realized he was her son? Priceless!

I sometimes forget that the real hunting badass in the family was originally Mary.

**Fun fact, apparently we've all been spelling Cas's shortened name wrong this ENTIRE TIME and it's actually spelled "Cass," not "Cas."

The SPNFamily hasn't had a meltdown like that since Charlie bit it at the hands of the Styne family. Both Mary Winchester and Twitter fans have brutal takedowns.

Didn't Quite Foresee This Reunion

I was so caught up in the mom and Dean reunion that I forgot that Dean's car probably meant just as much to Mary as it does to Dean. But seeing Mary reunited with her baby in the garage of the Men of Letters' headquarters was almost as awesome as seeing her finally hug Dean in the park after realizing it was him, just all grown up.

But Totally Saw That Awkwardness Happening

Once the reunion happened between Mary and car, I totally saw this coming:

"Mom, why are you looking at it like--oh. ...OH."
"Mom, why are you looking at it like--oh. ...OH."

Totally meant that as a totally inappropriate pun, as well.

Because it wouldn't be an episode of #Supernatural without a hilarious Dean reaction to an extremely awkward situation. Like realizing his dad and mom banged in the same backseat that him and Sammy had probably done the exact same thing in with their various hookups. Many, many, MANY hookups.

Didn't See That 'Smallville' Shoutout Coming

But really, who could predict something that random? Maybe it was because of this list of actors who have appeared on both shows (thanks, forums!):

And who KNOWS which former Smallville stars have appeared on Supernatural lately?

Here are the opening minutes from Smallville, Season 1 Episode 1:

And here are some screenshots from this week's Supernatural:

“He found us!” Yes, Cass did.

We Knew That Happened

#SupernaturalSeason11 left us with Sam's fate hanging in the balance, but it turns out he was just shot in the leg. He gets Sam-napped and thrown in a basement, where he's tortured for information. Information including the whereabouts of all his hunter friends. Of course, Sam doesn't crack, so they resort to some sort of wacky drug that makes him see all the people who he's known, who have died. But, please. He's literally been thrown into a cage in Hell, tortured, then haunted by the ghost of Lucifer inside his head. He laughs in the face of psychotropic hallucinogens, at this point. After tricking his kidnapper into thinking it's working, Sam just about escapes, but...

Didn't Know That Was Going To Happen

But Toni, a.k.a. the blonde British woman from the Men of Letters' London Chapter House, a.k.a. Sam's kidnapper, STILL got the drop on him. Poor Sam. Actually, poor Toni when he finds his marbles...the Winchester boys are gonna whoop dat ass.

See Also:

After All These Seasons, STILL Surprised By That

WHAM! In case you can't tell, that's the moment that Toni's right-hand lady T-boned Baby and put a huge dent in her rear end. Why do they have to do that to that beautiful car? Baby's been wrecked so many times throughout the years. Thank goodness for Impala stunt doubles.

Almost Thought She Was Going To Say It

When Toni is torturing Sam, she says, “...because maybe, with all of us working together, we can do what you never could. Make...America...Safe.

Yeah, butt...
Yeah, butt...

The only thought running through my head in that moment involved this guy:

But seriously Sam, don't tell this crazy lady anything. She's definitely up to something, and her knowing where all your hunter buddies are is a bad, bad thing.

Another presidential shoutout, whether it was intended or not, was pretty funny. Right before he's about to get a cold shower, Sam tells his captors that he's been tortured by the Devil himself, and that Toni is just an accent in a...pantsuit!

Who's famous for her pantsuits?

You got it!

I'm Ashamed To Say That I Didn't Even Think Of This

In a TVLine interview with one of the producers, Andrew Dabb, we find out this:

“The story’s always been, ‘Once Mary married John and settled down, she stopped hunting.' But we’re going to find out maybe that’s not the whole story.”

I always just assumed that she did stop hunting, but shoot, maybe her and John kicked some ass a few times before (or even after) they had Dean and Sam. The way her hands were shaking after she skewered Sam's torturer, maybe she is hiding something big.

Finally, in closing...

Kinda Wish I Hadn't Seen That

Yick. That's definitely going to need Castiel's healing angel mojo.

Tune in next Thursday for “Momma Mia,” episode number 2 of the 12th season of Supernatural!