Batman Joined The Avengers While You Were Sleeping
A little after midnight last night, an historic deal was made. Folks, it may just be the most significant accord since Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson's handshake at the end of Fast 5. That big.
The two biggest names in comics publishing, Marvel and DC, have agreed upon a character crossover movie, of unprecedented scale. Kevin Feige of Marvel Studios and Edward Nygma of DC released the following statement at around 1am:
It is on this day, April 1st 2013, with great power and great responsibility, that our studios have finally come together. We feel the time is right for Batman to show up in Avengers 2.
It was shortly after that, that word leaked signifying the imminent return of Christian Bale in the role of Bruce Wayne. Extras on the set of Terrence Malick's Knight of Cups overheard Bale screaming at a lighting guy saying:
Yeah I'm going to be Batman again alright? You're a nice guy but we are done professionally. Here you are ah da da da da wandering around behind Terry when I'm about to be Batman again.
When The Avengers themselves were contacted to see if they had anything to say regarding this unorthodox new recruit, only Robert Downey Jr.'s publicist was available. When asked how he felt about the arrival of Bale to the team, he responded simply:
This news comes hot on the heels of Bale announcing his candidacy for president of the CHarity Of Angry Thespians (CHOAT) and must come as a shock for his estranged biological father: John Lithgow.
We'll have more on this story on April 1 2014.
Written by our intern: April Falls.