Love at First Sight
At the early stages of fangirling, I always attempted to conceal my inner desires. That is, until I watched The Avengers (2012). I recall my parents saying how miraculous the movie was, how the heroes came together well (despite the inevitable quarrel between Tony and Steve), and how they were certain that I was to fangirl about them. Interestingly, they were wrong. It was not the daring, righteous protagonists that took my breath away. In fact... it was the utter opposite.
I fell in love with the 'villain', The God of Mischief, as if he had placed his scepter against my own heart and took me as one of his own followers. That power never wore off, because I still am one. But more so, I am in love with the actor who graciously portrayed such a complex character.
This was, without a doubt, a whole new level of fangirling. There was no conversation that didn't have a reference to Tom, or the occasional yell of, "I do what I want!". Countless nights were spent surfing videos of Tom, compilations of him, behind the scenes of his films, or just plain interviews. I had gone head over heels for this Brit, and I knew there was no turning back.
I had watched nearly all of his films going from his Marvel films; Avengers (2012), Thor (2011), Thor: The Dark World (2013), and nearly every other of his films from Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), War Horse (2011), The Deep Blue Sea (2011), Tinker-bell and the Pirate Fairy (2014, I loved his singing), Unrelated (2007) to the movies that he only had cameos in, like: Midnight in Pairs (2011), and Muppets Most Wanted (2014). Heck, I even went to see Crimson Peak (2015) in the cinemas, and I highly dislike horror films! So I'm guessing that one can clearly see that I adore him.
Becoming Who I Am Now
Despite the constant inner squeals and inevitable smiles, Tom hasn't only been a source of fangirling. I think one aspect that people normally see, regarding fangirling, is that its a plain obsession thing. Something to waste your time at. In fact, many people I know believe that it is merely a waste of time. Well, to those who do believe in such a thing, you're all wrong.
These people are our heroes, despite what roles they play in films or their estranged backgrounds, they are our inspirations. For many, like myself, these 'obsessions' have become our safety-net, what we go to when we know we're on the edge. Why, you might ask? Well, its because they understand. Heck, they may not even know of our existence, but they understand us, they accept us, and they are always there.
Tom Hiddleston, in my case, has always been the shoulder to lean on to. Just re-watching his videos and interviews, movies as well, helps me feel better. He has taught me to appreciate others more, to be kind regardless of how people are. Because there is a reason why they can be rude, perhaps self-insecurities or their natural reactions to situations. Despite that we need to accept them none the less.
Without him, I wouldn't have become the optimist I try to be today. Regardless of the situation. He's taught me that there will always be something good that comes out of something bad. Life has to remain balanced that way, otherwise things wouldn't be fair.
Another thing he has certainly taught me is to appreciate actors, despite the fact that they are on stage or in films. It is never an easy job to be an actor, as they are story tellers, and they need to learn to fit themselves into other peoples' shoes. That is never easy, especially when one doesn't know themselves. Tom, I believe knows himself quite well, at least enough to adapt to other people's stories. I mean, can you imagine if the role of Loki took over him? He'd be so rude, so mean, and so utterly insecure. Thank goodness he isn't.
To Become a Writer
The largest impact Tom has had on me, without a doubt, is my choice in becoming a writer. I never aspired to become one, that is until I reviewed his interviews and completely fell in love (once again) with his appreciation of writing and books. Of course, he loves Shakespeare and nearly quotes him all the time, not to mention the fact that he was in so many plays, yes plays, that were created by Shakespeare.
I just wanted to become a writer after that. I began to read more classical novels (when I read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott. Fitzgerald, I was super excited when I realized he portrayed him in Midnight in Paris), read more books in general, began to annotate my writing more, and develop my own form of writing. I've even managed to get a strong grade for English at school, and try to participate in anything that can help develop my writing (like this, for example). I now, thanks to him, hold the ability to write formerly, or I can write as if I am speaking to the audience. In this case, I'm doing the latter.
An Empowering Thank You
So, to Tom Hiddleston, I salute you for being the incredible actor that you are, and nonetheless the astounding human being you are. If I ever have the chance to meet him, I believe the most repeated word would be 'thank you', as I can never ever thank him enough. And of course, I'd ask for too many Hiddles hugs.