A few weeks (months?) ago, there was a small story doing the rounds about how, back when Armageddon was being filmed, a young, pre-Batman Ben Affleck asked director Michael Bay if it wouldn't be easier to turn astronauts into oil drillers rather than oil drillers into astronauts.
To which Bay responded, "Shut the fuck up."
It was a great anecdote, and today, as I was browsing Twitter, I happened to stumble across this tweet from user @u_sylvie that included the actual DVD commentary footage of that story. It's the most hilarious thing you'll listen to all day, maybe even all week, and I DEFY you to not crack up while listening. Imagine "Honest Trailers" done Ben Affleck-style. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.
Affleck pointing out all the fallacies of Bay's script and laughing at how ridiculous it all was made my morning: "They don't know jack about drilling? How hard could it be? Aim the drill at the ground and turn it on." Snarky Ben Affleck = Best Affleck. The commentary reminds me of the early days of his career, back when his great sense of humor and comedic timing were utilized far more than they are now, especially now that he's all in on Team DC after [Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice](tag:711870)
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! If you thought this was the only Armageddon commentary by Affleck floating around out there, you'd be wrong. Kristin was compelled to search for more, and she found a treasure trove, such as Affleck mocking stunt acting while co-star Bruce Willis is clearly not amused:
Or Affleck recounting how Bay threatened to cut him from the film every day on set — in a Southern accent. I don't even know what's happening anymore, really:
I would give anything to have a documentary made about the behind-the-scenes dynamic between the three. How much do you think it would cost to rent Affleck for a day just to follow me around and narrate my life and occasionally mock me for my moments of stupidity? Do you think I can get a GoFundMe started for this? Let's make this happen, guys. I promise to share him.