Posted by Fergus Coyle @Fergus
Movie lover, wannabe director and resident DC nerd. Get more from me at: http://bit.ly/fixing-hollywood
Fergus Coyle

We all know Batman here: Rich boy, dead parents, punches thugs while dressed like a bat. While that's a perfect origin story, some have tried to put interesting twists on it, using the multiverse as a means to showcase a different kind of Batman without screwing up the canon. It's a great concept, and has brought us things like The Dark Knight Returns, Batman: Earth One and other such classics. Case in point?

However, it has also brought us some interesting interpretations of the character. Let's take a look at those, shall we?

5. Paladin

Batman meets John Wayne...
Batman meets John Wayne...

So in this timeline, Bruce Wayne sees a violent Western with his parents right before they're shot, causing Bruce to grab the gun off the shooter and exact his revenge. The end result is what you see above: a Zorro-esque cowboy who guns down all of Gotham's villains. I'm not gonna lie, he isn't the worst, and even has some cool moments when brought into the main universe. It's just really weird to see a cowboy Batman in the modern day, and really doesn't fit with the whole concept of Batman as a dark vigilante. Because, y'know, cowboys aren't exactly going to instill terror into the hearts of the cowardly and superstitious.

4. Li'l Batman

I thought I looked like this as a kid reading comics
I thought I looked like this as a kid reading comics

It's pretty much all there in the title actually. Basically it's Batman, except he is (alongside all his world's heroes) a child. What's really weird about this version of the character is the tweaking of his origin, in which his parents are shoved by bullies, causing a child Bruce Wayne to don the cape and cowl in order to make a one-off gag about all of the Justice League I guess? Look, this makes no sense to me, and there's a bit where he reads comics in order to figure out who all the standard Justice League are, so just — what?!

3. Guardian of Gotham

That cat-signal is... ridiculous
That cat-signal is... ridiculous

This one is arguably more interesting than the rest, taking place in an alternate world where Catwoman is basically Batman (rich kid, dead parents, cat suit, etc.) and Batman is now a psychopath similar to the Joker who murders all of Catwoman's villains in order to establish himself as the only fish in her pond. It's slightly confusing because the role reversal of Cat and Bat isn't exactly as simple as it sounds, and most other things are the same, but not quite all. The handling of Batman as a murderous psycho is especially weird, considering the only thing kept consistent about him is the costume. The actual comic isn't the worst though, in fact I tentatively recommend it, even if it's just for the bizarre factor.

2) Batmouse

Anyone else find this Batmouse terrifying?
Anyone else find this Batmouse terrifying?

Ummm, it's Batman, but he's a mouse. Lord knows who thought this made any kind of sense, because if everyone's an animal, why would he take up the mantle of a bat? Please someone validate my bemusement here, because I just don't get it. A mouse that would decide to dress up as a bat is ludicrous and nonsensical. That's not to say a person dressing up as a bat is completely sane, it's just that it really gets called into question here. Also, not gonna lie, that picture has kept me up for many a night since i first saw it. *shivers*

1. Nazi Batman

Because of course Batman should be a nazi
Because of course Batman should be a nazi

Fun fact: the swastika slapped lazily on the Bat-logo uses highly advanced computational fabrics (because that phrase makes actual sense, sure) to make sure that no matter what angle you look at it, the swastika always looks proportionally straight. While the concept of Nazi Batman is, well, dumb, I can see the appeal of the idea — but at least put some effort in, guys! You have Batman and the Gestapo combined, but all you could think of was to use the exact same Bat-suit with a couple of red lines scribbled on it.

What they did with the character wasn't exactly a stroke of genius either. Basically Hitler won World War 2, all DC's heroes grew up as Nazis, and Batman is called Leatherwing for some reason. He acts as an enforcer for the Nazi regime, but seems to be okay with bending the Nazi rules when it comes to blue alien chicks (just read the dialogue in the image). You know, I take it back, I don't see the appeal of the idea anymore. See me after class DC, we have to straighten some things out.

Wrapping Up

Well that was interesting. I guess you can let us know what your favorite Batman on the list is. But be warned, if you vote for Nazi Batman then I'm pretty sure some men in suits are going to show up at your door. So you do that, and I'll go burn some comics I'd rather no one found in my room. Catch you later.

Poll

What's your favorite alternate Batman?