Posted by Heather Snowden @heathers
Staff Writer at MP. Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona.
Heather Snowden

Not only is Jessica Alba legitimately one of the wealthiest self-made women in the world, but she has to be one of the most sizzling sirens the screen has ever seen — despite the fact she hasn't always been super confident about her sexuality.

In celebration of that fact then, we've carefully perused her red-hot back-catalogue and created a short yet comprehensive list of the movies that took her from teen dream to the — unfortunately taken — goddess we worship today.

1. Stripped Down In Idle Hands (1999)

  • Character: Molly

Queue every teenage boy on the planet putting down his slice of pizza to ogle a 17-year-old Alba in a matching white lingerie set. This movie might have scored a big ole' green splat from the critics on Rotten Tomatoes with a shocking 16 percent, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out why the audience score is way higher.

2. Barbie Babe In Never Been Kissed (1999)

  • Character: Kirsten Liosis

It's hard to look smokin' next to Drew Barrymore, Marley Shelton and Jordan Ladd, but of course Jessica Alba pulls it off with aplomb. She might play a bitchy ditz with a golden(ish) heart but tbf, who cares when one can work Barbie disco flares as well as she can?

3. Rocking Your World In Honey (2003)

  • Character: Honey Daniels

Another movie slammed with a low Rotten Tomato score, but don't write this one off on account of its 21 percent. Alba spends the majority of the movie busting sick moves in a variety of early '00s tight tanks, boob tubes and one-shoulder get ups, which more than makes up for its lack of cinematic success. Sexy teen queen vibes aloha! Plus, Missy Elliott.

4. Getting Wet In Into The Blue (2005)

  • Character: Sam

Well, for starters Alba spends basically the entire movie in a bikini, so go figure why this made the list. This scuba flick is ram-jam-packed full of bronzed babes and, while it certainly doesn't cater to those looking for intellectually stimulating viewing — well, the latter maybe — its glistening cast saves it from drowning completely.

5. Spandex Clad In Fantastic Four (2005)

  • Character: Sue Storm

It's kind of a rule of thumb that women in superhero movies have to adhere to ridiculous beauty standards, and while this doesn't necessarily bode well for humanity, Alba's crackin' bod places her firmly in that box. Fantastic Four is her first ever film in this genre and I'm pretty sure all the dudes — and ladies too, who am I kidding — watching it wouldn't mind if she appeared in every single Marvel adaptation to follow, either.

6. Tabletop Dances In Sin City

  • Character: Nancy Callahan

She plays a lasso slingin' stripper. Enough said.

See also:

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