Posted by Sam Plank @samplank
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

Some fans kick off a new football season by tailgating at stadiums, some hang out in their man (or woman) cave, and others are at home on the computer, keeping track of their fantasy football teams and writing articles about football movie quotes. If you're the second guy and have to deal with commercials, fire up your smartphone and read this pigskin-loaded list of the best quotes from football movies while you wait for the word from our sponsors to be done and over with.

A little warning though, this is a dirty game with some dirty language, so there are quite a few NSFW moments waiting for you below.

17. “I give it a uh... a 10... a 10... a fucking 10!” - Varsity Blues

You can't start a list like this without Billy Bob rating his stripper/math teacher!

16. “You gotta always protect the McNuggets!” - The Longest Yard

Cheeseburger Eddy, he always has the right McDonald's analogy.

15. “It don't have to look pretty. It don't have to look smooth. It can look like a dying duck. But the ball has got to go through the middle! - Facing the Giants

A little religion never hurt nobody. Uh, you know... metaphorically. Preach!

14. “Win just one for the Gipper.” - Knute Rockne, All American

Like in Major League, where he threw it “just a bit outside,” this one is just a bit outside most of our lifetimes, but come on! It's Ronald Reagan! This is where Reagan got one of his most famous campaign slogans.

13. “Show me the money!” - Jerry Maguire

Sorry, “You complete me” and “You had me at hello,” but you just aren't gonna cut it for this list...

12. “Einhorn is a man!” - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Jim Carrey's faces, voices, and face-plunging have a funny way of making you forget this movie also has something to do with the Miami Dolphins and their missing dolphin mascot.

11. “Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there...” - Friday Night Lights

Billy Bob Thornton reminds us why he's one of the best onscreen coaches of all time!

If you can't listen to that speech and not get chills, well...there's no helping you.

10. “You make sure they remember, forever, the night they played the Titans.” - Remember the Titans

This movie almost makes me regret not trying out for the football team in high school...almost. But still, how could you not get inspired by this scene?

9. “Inch by inch, play by play...” - Any Given Sunday

Honestly, the only thing I really remembered about this movie from when I watched it was that other locker scene with Cameron Diaz and Longy McHugerson. But I bet some of you really love Al Pacino's speech, too.

You also have to appreciate how he just dressed like a straight-up mobster instead of an actual football coach.

8. “Let's open up the whole can of kickass and kill 'em all, let the paramedics sort 'em out.” - The Program

Because kind of list would this be if the phrase “can of kickass” wasn't mentioned at least once? Here, Alvin Mack fires himself and his team up, but hopefully not aiming to literally kill everyone.

7. “And that's the way you're gonna do it. You go out there, you tear their fucking heads off, and you shit down their necks!” - Necessary Roughness

Again, try not to take your coach literally, guys!

6. “Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.” - The Replacements

Need inspiration? You came to the wrong place. Still, Shane Falco spoke some truth in this scene.

Definitely one of Keanu Reeves' most underrated performances.

5. “Intimidation!” - Little Giants

You gotta love the political incorrectness of some of these older movies. No way a director could get away with joking about something as serious as rabies nowadays... I kid, I kid.

Still, pretty advanced intimidation tactics from a bunch of kids.

4. “And it shoots just fine all the other days too.” - The Blind Side

There's something about hearing a Bible study attending, saintly gal like Leigh Anne Tuohy tell T-Dog all about her Saturday night special.

3. “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” - Rudy

Let's face it; hearing thousands of people yelling that name over and over is a LOT better than hearing them scream the next entry on this list.

2. “You can do it!” - The Water Boy

There's no way you're getting out of a list like this without getting those four little words stuck in your head all over again. This is the movie that started it all, the original “You can do it!” movie.

1. “We have the opportunity to play like gods!” - Varsity Blues

I'm obviously a little biased, but I have to end this list like it started, with Varsity Blues. The movie trailer highlights some of Mox's best quotes, but his Kilmer-less locker room speech is the speech to end them all.

Thanks for tackling this list with me! Pass me some of your favorite football movie quotes of all time in the comments!