What are your favorite movie lines? ‘Not here Jake, this is Chinatown’? Sure! ‘I love the smell of Napalm in the morning’? Probably! Well, how about: ‘If anybody’s gonna piss on him, it’s gonna be me!’.

The last line is spoken by Nicole Kidman in Lee Daniels The Paperboy

. Kidman is not all talk either; what follows leads to an impromtu defiling of High School Musical alum Zac Efron!

The Paperboy is a melodrama that takes place in late 60s Florida. It involves a fiery femme fatal (Kidman), a convicted murder (John Cusack), sleazy reporters (Matthew McConaughey, Zac Efron) and apparently enough sweaty Southern atmosphere to overspice the lamest gumbo.

The film premiered Tuesday in the competition at Cannes and was partly beaten, kicked and left for dead on the side of the road by critics. There were, however, a couple of favorable reviews . One thing everybody seemed to agree upon is that a scene where Kidman, um, pees on Efron is the stuff legends are made of. I give the floor to Guy Lodge, from HitFix to elaborate on what he has seen:

It features Nicole Kidman bitch-fighting a group of sunbathers for the privilege of urinating on Zac Efron’s jellyfish sting, triumphing with the immediately immortal line, “If anybody’s gonna piss on him, it’s gonna be me!” It features Zac Efron dancing in the rain clad in nothing but a pair of tighty-whiteys rapidly losing their opacity. […] Another sex scene, meanwhile, is punctuated with cutaways to alligators and grazing hogs.

While Lodge seems impressed by the sheer amount of kookiness going on, others clearly werent. Justin Chang, writing for Variety called the film ‘a risibly overheated, not unenjoyable slab of late-‘60s Southern pulp trash’, while Jeffrey Wells described The Paperboy as ‘sloppy, inept and [] appalling.’

While the initial reaction to the film might be derision, The Paperboy obviously has all the makings of a camp classic; think Showgirls with a nervous bladder.

Eric Kohn wrote much in that vein (after having ripped the film a new one):

You can go into The Paperboy expecting a disaster and have fun with it. And since its stench will always linger on the filmographies of everyone involved, one can imagine it finding new life as a participatory of midnight experience of the Rocky Horror variety.

We dont want to imagine what replaces the traditional rice and toast throwing