The East Coast is getting a lot of attention as the particularly ruthless "Polar Vortex" leaves people stranded in airports and shivering to their bones. While we hope and pray for our friends and wish them the best, I thought I would take a minute to remind everyone what we in the "Flyover Region" face every single year:
1) If you don't wear a face mask to work you're legitimately at risk for frostbite.
2) This is what happens when you explain to Europeans that -30 Fahrenheit is about the same in Celsius:
3) Taking fashion into consideration is a very distant memory.
4) You significantly expand your walking routes to not face the wind.
5) Although you're gasping for breath as snow flies in your face, you'll still hold the door open for that person a minute or so behind you.
6) If you pass someone completely hidden under ninja arctic gear, you'll be sure to wave and stop for a chat, even if it's snowing down your scarf.
7) You shudder at the thought of where you would be without your wool stockings under your pants (/snow pants).
8) Although your town could be mistaken for some apocalyptic Ice Age, you won't ever have a snow day due to high-tech snow plows.
9) When you visit the East Coast, you laugh (to yourself, of course - you would hate to offend) when the Weatherman calls 30 degrees "frigid"...
10) ...which is why you immediately check up on your East Coast friends when they're slammed by the same blizzard that's hitting you even harder.
11) The first thing anyone EVER says about living in the Midwest is: "...but isn't it cold?!"
12) And even though it gets obnoxious, you secretly like it when people act like you've climbed Mount Everest...
13) ...even though you humbly shrug it off with "Oh, you get used to it."
14) But the thing is you actually do get used to it. Which is why the Midwest is completely and utterly BADASS.
Share if you can't wait for the Polar Vortex to end!