Welcome to Australia, home to some of planet Earth's toughest climates, terrains and people. Essentially cut off from the rest of the world and tucked way down under, it's no wonder Australian #horror films are known for their uninhibited brutality. Despite their brutal reputations, fans know that there will be an underlying comedic tone to just about any Australian horror, regardless of the film's ferocious content. This is partially due to the horror genre's reliance on miscellaneous stereotypes and clichéd situations, as well as the fact that jaded horror fans are usually packing one hell of a dark sense of humor.
That being said, there's a lot to learn about life from Australian horror flicks. Don't Believe me? Then let's take a closer look at the humorous life lessons we can attain from some of our favorite Aussie horrors.
#WolfCreek is easily one of Australia's most acclaimed horror films to date. As many of you already know, iconic outback-slasher Mick Taylor was actually inspired by the the crimes of Bradley John Murdoch in 2001, a fact that strategically contributed to the film's appeal and authenticity.
English tourists Liz (Cassandra Magrath), Kristy (Kestie Morassi) and their Australian pal Ben (Nathan Phillips) kicking off their summer of debauchery with a road trip to 'Wolf Creek National Park.' After reaching their destination, the trio head back to their vehicle only to discover it will no longer run. Their only salvation comes in the wee hours of the night when Mick Taylor (John Jarratt) hauls them back to his compound to repair their crusty old wagon. As the three vacationers settle in, they begin to realize punny-guy Mick might not be the stand-up guy they thought he was.
Invaluable lessons Wolf Creek taught us that just may save your ass one day:
First and foremost, when someone is fervidly divulging the details on all the animals they have tortured and killed, that's a solid indicator you should probably cold-clock this son-of-bitch and get the hell out of dodge. When were you ever like, "Oh yeah, that's Jeff. He loves cutting golden retrievers, but he's cool?" Like I said, give em' a good ol' fashioned KO and head for the hills.
Also, when driving your getaway vehicle you must use your peripherals. How are you expecting to survive a hot pursuit from a serial killer if you don't watch the road? Did I miss the chapter in defensive driving where you magically become a safer driver with your rubber-neckin' ass contorted 180° as to watch the road left behind? If you want to live, you need to turn your ass around and watch the road ahead.
Finally, If the path there is shit, it's time to hit the bricks. When the way is paved with bones and faeces, it's time to rethink your destination. Call me crazy, but who wants to hike through skeletal remains and fecal matter in the blistering heat to stare at some still water for an hour? The next time you plan a trip, ask yourself whether you really want to spend a vacation hiking through Dante's Inferno.
From writer/director Damien Power, #KillingGround was one of the most anticipated films of 2017 from our trusted friends over at IFC Midnight - and for damn good reason. Stemmed from the director's own curiosity, Killing Ground is an unnerving glimpse into the possibility of what horrifying explanation could await those who encounter a deserted campsite in the woods and what fate could have befallen them.
Sam (Harriet Dyer, Love Child) and her beau, Ian (Ian Meadows, The Moodys) are embarking on their first camping trip together. Upon arriving at Ian's favorite camp site, his relaxing holiday is immediately polluted by the sight of other camper. After some encouragement to stay and set up camp from Sam, it isn't long before the duo realize there's something strange about their fellow campers. Growing weary of what appears to be an abruptly deserted site, the couple's fears are heightened as they find a feral baby wandering the grounds.
What we can take away from the unnerving survival thriller, Killing Ground?
Avoid interactions with strangers in the woods (this one should just be common sense if you ask me). You're going camping to escape the stresses of conventional living, so what would posses you to squat with complete strangers? Next time you stumble upon other mouth-breathers while you're out in the woods, remember this; people are generally garbage.
It's also important to know the competency level of the person you're camping with. Is he a pretty boy who can't throw a punch? Is she ignorant to the outdoors? Whatever paradigm you find yourself in, you need to take yourself a self defense class. In case you're ever in a situation where your nutless partner leaves your ass in the dust, you should have your own tools and skills to depend on. How do you plan to survive a catastrophe if you didn't even think to bring a knife? Don't be rely on your partner for your survival skills - be prepared.
Hounds of Love
After clashing with her mother, teen-aged beauty Vicki (Ashleigh Cummings, Galore) decides to scoot on out of her bedroom window and sneak off to a party. Not long after she sets off to catch a cab, she's stopped by a young couple and offered a ride. They convince little Vicki to hop in their shaggin' wagon and jet over to their place for some wacky-tobacky to take to the party with her. However, after a quick smoke and a drink, Vicki realizes something sinister is brewing with her new-found friends, Evelyn (Emma Booth, Blood Creek) and John White (Stephen Curry, Rogue).
Headed for the same heinous fate as so many young ladies before her, Hounds of Love guarantees its viewers a gut-wrenching, white-knuckled experience.
Some of the insight we can gain from watching the panic inducing thriller, Hounds of Love:
Is being the third wheel ever fun with your friends? Do you fancy sitting idle as two people slobber and grope each other in your awkward presence? Unless you're fully prepared for things to get real weird real quick, say "no" when a strange couple invites you over for refreshments.
And last but not least, if your man's idea of a good time is abducting other young women, the chances are he might not be that in to you. Remember: love shouldn't hurt anyone.
Who could have known that even the most brutal horror films could teach us such valuable lessons? At the end of the day, horror films are all about perspective and how you interpret them - so be sure to keep an eye out for invaluable survival tips in future horror flicks.
What hilarious life lessons have you learned from watching scary movies? We want to know your thoughts in the comment section below!