Have you forgotten how important family is? If our first glimpse at #Fast8 (now known as The Fate Of The Furious, a title I'm officially digging) is any indication, you're not alone. The trailer for the #Furious7 sequel dropped last night, revealing a "family" (the word is repeated about sixteen times, just so you never forget which franchise you're watching) torn apart by a shocking act of betrayal.
Because this is a Fast movie and not a play on Broadway, that drama plays out against a reasonably insane backdrop of tanks, red Lamborghinis, orange jumpsuits, wrecking balls, Charlize Theron being a bad bitch — and, uhh, submarines, because why not? Check out the #FateOfTheFurious trailer below before we take a deeper dive and try to work out exactly what in fresh hell is going on here.
1. It's Mr. Nobody vs Ms. Who?
Kurt Russell is back as Mr. Nobody, the covert ops leader who recruited Dom and the gang in Furious 7 in pursuit of the God's Eye, and he'll seemingly face off with the enigmatic villainess Cipher, played with Hitchcockian frost by Charlize Theron.
The question, then, is who is Cipher? What's her business in turning Dom (Vin Diesel) to the dark side? And how does she appear on the radar of Mr. Nobody? The movie's official synopsis describes her only as "a mysterious woman [who] seduces Dom into the world of crime he can't seem to escape," while Mr. Nobody himself pegs her as "the very definition of high-tech terrorism." Charlize as a villain is giving me major Prometheus vibes, so here's hoping her scheme is suitably insane.
2. The Rock Is Still Very Much The Rock
Let's face it, Dwayne Johnson is not Hollywood's highest-paid actor for nothing. Whether it's Baywatch, San Andreas or Fate, he's here for one reason — to out-macho everybody else on the screen with killer lines like "I will beat you like a cherokee drum!"
Considering the sheer circumference of The Rock's guns, Deckard (Jason Statham) better run. Although this is The Fast & Furious we're talking about — all that's needed to diffuse this situation is a gentle reminder of the fact that we're all fam.
3. Snow Place Like Home
Props to director F. Gary Gray — it's hard to top a set piece in which a car literally crash-lands inside a skyscraper, but the action scenes in Fast 8 look utterly thrilling, particularly that frozen lake. A submarine literally coming up for air from beneath a sheet of ice on which military tanks and red Lamborghinis are doing battle?
Special props for the bit where Roman (Tyrese Gibson) casually beats some poor bastard clean off his snowmobile with a detached Lambo door. Hey, if you're going to go for a swim, might as well do it like an Italian.
4. This Is A Double-Cross... Right?
Look, do we really believe that Dom has thrown seven movies of "faaamily" out the door for an evil hook-up with a blonde lady sporting culturally-insensitive dreadlocks? All the signs suggest Cipher is the one being played here, even if Dom is going to some pretty extreme lengths to make this rogue agent routine look real — that moment where Letty's car collides with Roman's in mid-air is fucking brutal.
So Hobbs's statement of intent ("I don't know if the old Dom is on there. But I don't give a damn. I'm takin' you down.") is earned. But look at how severely not into that kiss Dom looks...
Either she a bad kisser, or that's a man struggling with his conscience. And you know, I reckon I'll go for the latter.
5. How Will Paul Walker's Death Be Explained?
This is the big one. It's hard to know exactly how Fate should play the death of Paul Walker — should Brian be killed off-screen, or is it better to imagine that he simply got out of the game and found some semblance of a normal life with Mia and their son?
If he does die in-world, that could explain Dom's decision to abandon his family and do the devil's work with an evil hot blond chick without it being a double-cross twist, but it also feels like a slightly unsatisfying end to a beloved character's arc.
We don't have to wait long to find out either way. The Fate Of The Furious hits theaters April 14, 2017, and looks like it has an excellent shot at being one of next year's most entertaining blockbusters.
What did you think of the trailer? Has Dom really 'done a Vader', or is there more to this tale of betrayal than meets the eye?