ByElle McFarlane, writer at
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Do you ever look out of the rain-stained window of a job you hate as your toxic lover inundates your phone with a insane barrage of texts and wonder — what is the point? Well wonder no more because the experts have decided there isn’t one. Everything you perceive as reality is an illusion because really, we’re all just operating in a matrix that is being controlled by our grandchildren. Who, apparently, are a bunch of sadomasochists hunger .

Wait. What? Yes, really. Morpheus, Neo and Trinity aren’t just a bunch of sexy leather-clad vamps who died a (metaphorical) death in their ill-conceived sequels, they are the prophets of a world that has already dawned. Thus making me, you and everyone you know no more than 2D mushrooms fleeing from a large nosed Italian plumber. Or Lara Croft, take your pick.

Why Do We Believe This?

Because Elon Musk, the billionaire (and therefore, factually reliable) founder of Tesla, Paypal and Space X, came out and told an audience at the 2016 Code Conference that there was only a ‘one in billions’ chance that we are not all currently existing within a computer simulation. Now normally this may have been brushed off as Musk subtly dropping his net worth into conversation, but then analysts at the Bank of America backed him up, saying they believed there was between a twenty and fifty percent chance that we are in fact living in the matrix. And we all know we can trust the banks.

In a report released by the Bank, the analysts went one step further stating that it is conceivable, that given the huge advances in technology over the past century, this matrix is actually being controlled by future civilizations who have just decided to run a simulation of their ancestors. Like some morbid historical freak show, or when you decide to click left rather than right through the narcissistic hellmouth otherwise known as Facebook's ‘Photos of You’ tab.

However, the analysts also point out that even if our world were but a mere illusion, we may never know. Which, judging by the mass fallout which would occur if we did, is definitely a good thing. Just think how much more difficult going to work would be knowing you had more in common with your excel spreadsheets than with your own mother.

Where The Theory Began

This profound theory began in the complex mind of René Descartes who in the sixteenth century said, very much like that tragedy you see swaying in the shadows of the club at six in the morning, that we cannot rely on our sense experiences to perceive the world.

Half a millennium later, Jean Baudrillard published his majestic post-modern delight ‘Simulacra and Simulation’ which essentially states human experience is a simulation of reality. The Wachoswki’s got hold of it, bound it with Angelina’s seminal film, Hackers, and spawned Keanu Reeve’s best film since the one where he got flirty with Sandra on an explosive bus.

Following this in 2003, Nick Bostrom a professor at the University of Oxford suggested that Descartes, Baudrillard, The Wachowski’s and Keanu were right, and that we were very possibly just a reality running on a bank of supercomputers controlled by our future generations. Making things even more convincing, Rich Terrile a director at NASA, the company who famously put Tom Hanks in space, told Vice that currently NASA supercomputers are working at double the speed of a human brain which means:

"If you make a simple calculation using Moore's Law [which estimated that computers double in power every two years], you'll find that these supercomputers, inside of a decade, will have the ability to compute an entire human lifetime of 80 years – including every thought ever conceived during that lifetime – in the span of a month.”

Apollo 13
Apollo 13

I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to sympathize for these so called supercomputers. Just think of the amount of angst, poor life choices and evenings trawling through supermarkets to find a cheese that is both delicious and cheap it's going to have to endure. A stronger case for Ctrl Alt Delete, I'm yet to find.

Proof That This Theory Is True

  • We’ve never met an alien

Otherwise known as the Fermi Paradox, in the 1960’s physicist Enrico Fermi stated that one of the only logical reasons why we’ve never met extraterrestrial civilizations, even though our universe is colossal and expanding, is because there aren’t any. Earth and mankind is the centre of the universe, because the universe is a computer generated illusion.

  • Because Jaden Smith

  • And because of this gif

Do you believe we’re living in a Matrix?

(Sources: Vice)


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