ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, of all the absolutely ridiculous things to have happened in 2016 — a year that our grandchildren seem likely to ask us what the hell was going on — one of the most peculiar is surely the rise to fame of the "" craze, in which random folks dress up as creepy clowns with varying degrees of success. Perhaps even stranger than that, though, was the craze that arose in its wake — that of real-life "Batmen" turning up to protect their towns from the dastardly clowning menace.

What's more, one particular real-world , based over in the UK, has been on the receiving end of a whole lot of press attention, perhaps leading many fans of real-life, clown-focused vigilantes to believe that Britain has overtaken the USA as world-leaders in the field. One plucky police department in New York state, however, seems determined to reverse that trend. Y'see...

A Real-Life Batman Just Teamed Up With A New York Police Department To Catch The Joker

[Facebook/Fairport Police Dept.]
[Facebook/Fairport Police Dept.]

Yup, that's right. The police department of Fairport, NY recently revealed that they are, in fact, working with Batman to fight the creepy clown epidemic, and it's apparent mastermind — . And yes, the actual police department just posted that exact sentiment onto Facebook. On the department's official Facebook page. And, from the sounds of the actual, factual Fairport PD announcement, any aspiring supervillains would probably be well-advised to stay away from upstate New York, and in particular "the Crown Jewel of the Erie Canal," as Fairport is also known:


The Fairport Police have received a lead in the Crazy Clown epidemic that has been gripping the nation. We have received information that these clowns are the henchmen guessed it...the Joker.

Since verifying this new information, the Fairport Police Department have recruited the assistance of America's Favorite Caped Crusader, BATMAN! Batman has been given a Fairport Police Uniform and Police Car to be on patrol in the Fairport area on alert for any suspicious activity. Please call 911 if you observe anything suspicious and we will signal Batman from atop the Village Hall where the blue light shines. Have a safe and Happy Halloween from the members of the Fairport Police Department."

Now, of course, it's entirely possible that the Fairport PD is simply goofing around, and that their collective intention is simply to reassure local children that they have nothing to fear from any nearby "creepy clowns." That, though, is clearly far less exciting than the alternative (admittedly somewhat less likely) possibility: That Batman is real, and has joined a local New York state police department in order to catch The Joker, who for some reason has decided to menace a small town just outside of Rochester.

Honestly, which one would you rather believe? After all, only one of those options implies that the Clown Prince of Crime is currently holed up in upstate New York, patiently waiting for his chance to steal the "Crown Jewel of the Erie Canal," having presumably not realized that it's a small town, and not an actual jewel. Which, if we're lucky, might just turn out to be the plot of ... or, better yet, real life.

Seriously, though. What are you rooting for here? Slightly unnerving fact, or deeply ludicrous fiction? Let us know below!



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