"If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful perosn on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Carmelita Spats was rude, she was violent, she was filthy, and it is really a shame that I must describe her to you, because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in this story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person."
-Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy
Last we saw them, the Baudelaire orphans were sitting back-to-back with two individuals who seemed pleasant enough: Isadora and Duncan Quagmire. If the Quagmires and the Baudelaires were the only students studying at Prufrock Preparatory Academy, they might have had an enjoyable and educational experience during their time there. But that is not how the story goes.
If #LemonySnicket has taught us anything, it's that we need to be inquisitive researchers and critical thinkers, and pay particular attention to asking the right questions. Just as we did with the mysterious Jacquelyn, let's try to ask all the right questions concerning Carmelita Spats.
Who Is Carmelita Spats?
Book readers will remember that in the very beginning of Book 5 — which will be Episode 1 of Season 2 of #ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents — the Baudelaires encounter a bratty little girl named Carmelita Spats. Carmelita is a bully with a wildly inflated sense of self-importance. She despises orphans and calls anyone that offends her a "cakesniffer," which is clearly a derogatory term but is still pretty fun to say.
Is Carmelita Spats An Orphan?
Why does Carmelita despise orphans so much? We know that the Quagmires had to live in the orphans shack before the Baudelaires came to Prufrock Prep. But how does Carmelita even know how terrible of a place it really is? It's possible that Carmelita is an orphan herself, and was forced to live in the Orphan Shack when she arrived at the school. The other students teasing and ridiculing might have been enough to take an already prone-to-narcissism little girl and turn her into a fully-fledged brat. When the Quagmires showed up, she likely saw an opportunity to detract from her own orphanness and shift the heat onto someone else.
There's a minor spoiler from Book 10: The Slippery Slope that might help explain Carmelita's situation even further:
As Esme Squalor rattles off a list of fortunes she and Olaf hope to steal, she mentions "the Spats fortune." Of course, simply having a family fortune doesn't necessarily mean that someone is an orphan, but Olaf and Esme tend to target rich orphans as easy pickins, and orphans are a big motif throughout the series, so it would make sense.
While we're not sure what happened between Book 5 and Book 10 that took Carmelita from Prufrock Prep to the Snow Scouts, it's highly possible that it is an organization for orphans. After all, Quigley Quagmire is there, and none of the children say anything about their parents. And when Carmelita Spats meets Esme and Olaf, she is quick to join up with their troupe, without a single thought as to what her parents might think. All this points to the fact that they're probably d.e.a.d.
Who Plays Carmelita Spats In A Series Of Unfortunate Events?
While #Netflix has yet to make an official announcement about the casting for Prufrock Prep's biggest cakesniffer, it appears that the part has gone to Kitana Turnbull. Patrick Warburton, who plays Lemony Snicket, posted the following Instagram from the set. The child in the pink frills and ginger curls is Kitana Turnbull, who looks an awful lot like she's going to be our Carmelita.