WOW. Ryan Murphy promised us a twist, but what a twist! One giant, perfectly realized, snarkily contemporary motherfucker of a twist changed the game for American Horror Story, establishing season 6 as an entirely new beast. Check out what happened this week and what the hell it all means!
1. Let's Twist Again
Cheyenne Jackson appears as Sid, a slimy producer hellbent on wringing more cash and infamy from the the My Roanoke Nightmare show. Screen text explains:
My Roanoke Nightmare was the television story of 2015.
With minimal promotion, the show garnered 23 million viewers by its finale, topping that week's viewing of Sunday night football, Empire, and The Walking Dead.
Now Cheyenne Jackson — who does a freakishly brilliant impression of Cricket, BTW — has a fiendish plan for a second, even more exploitative show: Return to Roanoke: 3 Days In Hell. Here's the pitch:
''I'm gonna bring everybody who lived in that house and the actors who played them on the show and put them back in that house together, only this time, hidden cameras record everything.''
YASSSSSSSSSSS. Now we know what the second half of American Horror Story season 6 is all about, and it's going to be awesome.
- American Horror Story S6 E1 Recap: 'From The Very First Moment, I Felt Danger There'
- American Horror Story Roanoke S6 E2 Recap: 'They're Going To Kill Us All'
- American Horror Story S6 E3 Recap: I Shall Stack The Bodies High
- American Horror Story Roanoke S6 E4 Recap: 'Dark Power and Blood Magic'
- American Horror Story S6 E5: 'Madness Always Ran In The Family'
2. Agnes Mary Winstead
Kathy Bates tends to steal the show regardless of what's happening, but in episode 6 it was like taking candy from a baby. As Sid reassembles the re-enactment cast from My Roanoke Nightmare, he pays a visit to Agnes Mary Winstead (played by Kathy Bates), who brought The Butcher to life. Oh, and she is all kinds of crazy.
What starts as sympathy for her character reveals itself to be full-blown schizo-affective disorder, culminating in a cleaver-wielding rampage along Hollywood boulevard.
When Sid bans Agnes from coming ''within 500 feet of the production,'' she flips out and starts yelling Butcher catchphrases like ''I SHALL SMITE THEE.'' Which, of course, is exactly what Sid wants.
3. HOLD UP— Lange Hint?
Agnes proudly boasts that there are only two great roles in American theater: The Butcher and Mary Tyrone in Long Day's Journey. It was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but mega-fans may have clocked the reference: Jessica Lange recently played that very part at the Roundabout Theater. By connecting these two great roles on screen, Bates's line is a provocative hint that Bates and Lange may be united again. Maybe Lange will be the 'real' Butcher? Please?!
4. ''Reality is the drama''
Our first look at the Real Housewives of Roanoke show is the greatest meta-indictment of reality TV ever put to screen, and is a pleasure to watch. We've got every ingredient for the perfect reality show hot ass mess:
- Televised weddings!
- Unethical treatment of participants!
Oh, and that magic touch guaranteed to tip the cast over the edge: as Sid says:
Alcohol is the secret sauce to reality shows
The shit hits the fan early on: a fist fight breaks out between Real Matt (Andre Holland) and Fake Matt (Cuba Gooding Jr / Dominic, clearly marked to be the reality TV villain). Real Matt is understandably peeved that Real Shelby (Lily Rabe) had an affair with Fake Matt, and Sid putting the estranged married couple in the same room together doesn't help matters. Fake Lee (Monet / Angela Bassett, who, in addition to her usual brilliance directed this whole freaking episode) has become a real alcoholic after playing former alcoholic Real Lee for too long and has already started knocking back the vodka...
Lee yells at Shelby, Lee yells at Monet (''I'm a drunk because of you, you murdering bitch!'') Audrey yells at Shelby — Sarah Paulson ranting about ossifying vaginas was just too perfect — everybody yells at everybody, and there's the odd ghost, mad ex-colleague and circle of fetal pigs to spice things up.
Also, Sarah Paulson (Audrey Tindall of the adorably wonky English accent) and Evan Peters (Rory Monahan) make a super cute couple.
5. Death Thrice
Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell is still in its infancy, but we already have three deaths.
- A strange accident on set sees a crew member accidentally cram a chainsaw through his own face
- Showrunner Diana Cross is dragged off the road by Piggy Man (a shame, she was the only person in Roanoke to get the hell out of dodge at the first sign of danger. Just goes to show that even common sense can't save you here).
- Rory gets stabbed to death by the REAL evil nurse twins — making the last R in MURDER. Now the word is complete, what will that mean for the house?
BONUS: Hold up, Hold up— ANOTHER TWIST?
A title card spells out the fate of our Return to Roanoke cast... but who will be the sole survivor?
Over the next three days during the Blood Moon, every participant in this series died under mysterious circumstances. Except for one.
Check out the promo for American Horror Story Season 6, Episode 7 aka. TLC's I Didn't Know I Was Cursed.