ByAllen-Michael Harber, writer at
Quiet Down, I Can't Hear The Subtitles
Allen-Michael Harber

There are many SpongeBob fan theories circulating the internet, from Bikini Bottom being the site of the Russian atomic bomb experiments to SpongeBob being a living tampon. While these are hilarious or just a bit eww, one fan theory is a little more sinister. The theory states that main characters of SpongeBob SquarePants each personify one of the seven deadly sins.

Patrick Is Sloth

Sloth is all about laziness and never wanting to do anything. This is Patrick Star through and through. Sure, he gets motivated when SpongeBob is around, but most of the time he’s just laying under a rock. He can be seen watching TV, sleeping, or just sitting around looking off into nothing. He’s so lazy in fact that he won an award for doing nothing the longest in the episode "Big Pink Loser."

Squidward Is Wrath

Wrath represents feelings of anger or hatred, and it’s no secret that Squidward hates pretty much everything. He hates his neighbors, he hates his job and he pretty much hates his life overall. There are very few moments where he is actually happy, but it doesn’t take long for him to fly into a rage. Wrath also refers to trying to inflict injury on others, like the time Squidward tried to run down SpongeBob and Patrick with a bulldozer.

Mr. Krabs Is Greed

There are two things that motivate Mr. Krabs: his daughter and money, and almost never in that order. Greed is the want of material possessions, and all Mr. Krabs wants is green. He will do anything to get money, from ripping off his own customers to breaking into SpongeBob’s house over a penny. He even once sold SpongeBob’s soul to the Flying Dutchman for 62 cents.

Plankton Is Envy

Sheldon J. Plankton has one goal in life: to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula. Why? It’s because he envies Mr. Krabs's success and wealth. He wants what Krabs has and will stop at nothing to get it. Due to his small stature, he is also envious of everyone else being taller than him. It's important to note that Squidward also displays a bit of envy towards his rival Squilliam Fancyson, for succeeding in everything Squidward failed.

Gary The Snail Is Gluttony

Gluttony refers to overindulgence, but is normally associated with eating way too much. Although Patrick has been known to eat a lot, Gary takes it to a new level. There was the one time where SpongeBob was feeding Gary to distract himself from writing an essay, created a mountainous pile of food and told Gary he had to eat all of it. Gary finished it in one bite. Then there was the time SpongeBob forgot to feed Gary, so he ate the couch.

Sandy Is Pride

Having a little pride in oneself is not a bad thing, but Sandy has an ego the size of Texas. She takes pride in being from Texas and will go on a warpath if anyone says anything bad about it. Sandy is also a genius inventor and karate master and has stated that she is better than everyone else in these respects. Her ego reaches a boiling point in the episode "Pressure" where she puts herself and her friends in danger just to prove she’s better.

SpongeBob Is Lust

This one is a big tricky because lust refers to an intense longing for something. Some fans have made the argument that he lusts after life, in the context that he longs to have fun all the time. A better argument could be made for him lusting over getting a driver’s license. It’s that one thing that always eludes him, even in his own dreams. He's tried everything to get one, and even almost ruined his friendship with his best friend when Patrick managed to get one.

While we most likely won’t have Kevin Spacey killing off the SpongeBob crew, it is interesting to note the parallels. Even some of the minor characters could fit into these categories. Pearl, Mr. Krabs’s daughter, could be considered vanity, which is an offshoot of pride. She cares about her image and how people think of her almost obsessively. Then again, it could just be a cartoon about a playful sponge and his many adventures.

Even if they are sinful characters, they sure know how to rock! Just check out the clip below and see the underwater gang belt out the 'Goofy Goober Rock':

So do you think we’ve gotten to the Bikini Bottom of this theory, or is it all just silly speculation?


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