ByElle McFarlane, writer at
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Owls, Bob, One Eyed Jack's, talking logs, the Black Lodge, giants, dwarves, chess and Tibet, creating a list of the best Twin Peaks quotes is essentially like gathering a collection of ingredients for an insane yet delicious pie to be savored with large gulps of hot, thick filter coffee.

Setting an untouchable precedent for easily being the most engaging and bizarre television show ever to depict a small logging town under the influence of demonic possession (among other things), Twin Peaks inspired legions of loyal fans since its 1990 debut — and it looks set to inspire legions more with the highly anticipated upcoming third season. Yes, it's happening again, and while the owls are not what they seem, here are all of the very best Twin Peaks quotes to send you spiraling through a dreamscape, throwing you straight back out into Norma's Double R Diner.

1. 'My Log Does Not Judge'

What better way to start the best Twin Peaks quotes list then with the show's very own cardigan-clad introducer, the Log Lady, and her judgement-free log.

2. 'That Gum You Like, Is Coming Back In Style'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

The Red Room's very own backwards talking dwarf giving some invaluable stock advice.

3. 'I Only Have Time For Coffee'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

Coop, speaking for all of us who loathe the morning.

4. 'Agent Cooper Loves Coffee'

Audrey, confirming both the above and her undying adoration of Coop.

5. 'I Plan On Writing An Epic Poem About This Gorgeous Pie'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

FBI Deputy Director Gordon Cole (played by David Lynch) planning on rivaling Shakespeare with his poetic pie prowess.

6. 'It's Like I'm Having The Most Beautiful Dream And The Most Terrible Nightmare At Once'

Donna describes the process of puberty in one eloquent line.

7. 'It's Happening Again'

When January roles around, and you sign up for that annually unused gym membership for the fourth year in a row.

8. 'Hiding From Your Fear Doesn't Make Your Fear Go Away'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

If there's one thing Annie — the ex-nun with a troubled past — knows, it's that not even hiding out in a convent can save you from your fears.

9. 'Every Day, Once A Day, Give Yourself A Present'

In Coop's universe, it's Christmas every day.

10. 'And Styrofoam Never Dies As Long As You Live'

Proving yet again that Andy and Lucy have the most electric, romantic dialogue in the show, here he is explaining the longevity of styrofoam.

11. 'I Just Need Some Me Time'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

Having said that, Lucy does not make life easy for her two romantic pursuers.

12. 'Everybody Drinks'

Bobby lamenting the ills of society.

13. 'I'm Only Quiet On The Outside'

James letting it be known that there is a cacophony of Laura, Donna and Maddy wailing within him.

14. 'Cotton Balls!'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

Twin Peaks' resident eye-patch wearing entrepreneur, Nadine Hurley, will always be synonymous with cotton balls and drape runners.

15. 'The Owls Are Not What They Seem'

Perhaps the closet thing to a tagline for the show, "the owls are not what they seem" pretty much encapsulates everything Twin Peaks has come to symbolize.

16. 'I Won't Hurt You'

And with a face like Bob's, how could you not trust him!?

17. 'There Was A Fish In The Percolator!'

Pete finally gets to the bottom of the fishy tasting coffee saga.

18. 'The Problems Of Our Entire Society Are Of A Sexual Nature'

Dr Jacoby giving Coop some Freudian realness.

19. 'I Feel Like I Know Her, But Sometimes My Arms Bend Back'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

Laura Palmer (RIP) speaking in the only language she knows: deep, confusing ambiguity.

20. 'Uh, What Is Shenanigans?'

[Credit: CBS]
[Credit: CBS]

Perhaps the character who had one of the most confusing "exits" from a show in TV history, however hope remains that there will be answers for Josie in Season 3!


How did the fish get in the percolator?


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