What happens when a woman who guzzles controversy like Popeye inhales spinach collides with a man who once threw a telephone at a hotel concierge? That’s right, chaos. "When Azealia Banks met Russell Crowe" sounds like either the beginning of a ill-fated rom-com or the heralding of an impending apocalypse, neither of which anybody should have to live through. However, if anything, 2016 has been the year of surprises.
Brexit, the imminent birthing of Blac Chyna and Rob's sproglette and Shia LaBeouf's shotgun Vegas wedding are all proof that we now only expect the unexpected. So, when news surfaced today that Azealia Banks was firstly invited to an intimate gathering in Russell Crowe's Beverly Hills Hotel room and secondly physically thrown out of said hotel room in disgrace, we shouldn't have batted an eyelid. But of course, we did.
Here's what we know so far.
1. Azealia Was Officially Invited To Russell's Hotel Suite
In what may remain one of life's greatest mysteries, Russell Crowe decided it would be a brilliant idea to invite Azealia Banks and her plus one, RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan, up to his Beverly Hills Hotel suite along with his ten other guests for an informal gathering.
This is a woman who has separately encouraged both Perez Hilton and Iggy Azalea to commit suicide, accused Bill Cosby's sexual assault victims of lying, supported Trump because he is 'evil like America is evil' and who referred to a flight attendant as a 'f*cking f*ggot.' Oh yeah, and she was banned from Twitter for being a homophobic, racist bigot. Prime dinner party material.
2. Azealia Hates On Russell's Music Choices
Upon entering the hotel room, it became increasingly apparent that Azealia was unhappy with the choice of music being played at Russell's soiree. In what we can only imagine was a cacophony of Nickelback, Moby and Celine Dion, Azealia decided enough was enough and began her tirade against the party-goers, accusing both Crowe and at least one other guest as being 'boring white men.'
Which makes this cover all the more ironic:
3. Azealia F*cks Up The Fun
After one of Crowe's female friends started to defend him against Azealia's playlist slander, Banks was finally given the opportunity she was waiting for to bring the drama. According to TMZ, she proceeded to unleash the following:
Which if nothing, was a pleasantly subtle remark.
4. Russell Carries Azealia Out Of The Hotel
Before Azealia could get her hands on a glass and go Tarantino on the party guests, Russell threw her over his shoulder and carried her out of the hotel. Needles to say this only encouraged her wrath further and she immediately took to her Facebook and Twitter pages to tell her side of the story.
5. Azealia Puts In Her Two (One Two) Cents
Immediately after the bizarre incident, Azealia posted the following to her Facebook page, which was then swiftly deleted:
Of course, the thought of Russell doing this is absolutely horrific, and to be honest, given his track record, not entirely unbelievable. The post went on to say:
Going on to state that she wished she had someone who could go and beat Russell Crowe up for her for making her feel so 'f*cking depressed,' Azealia was clearly left in a very volatile post-party state. However, TMZ did receive statements from the guests saying that she was behaving 'erratically' at the party, and that it was her, not Crowe, who was using the 'N' word.
Who do you believe?