The celebrity world has changed quite a lot over the last 10 years. Today our celebs eat clean and filter their manicured lives via social media. They're rarely reckless and seldom caught off guard. But 2007 saw an entirely different reality — a reality before Instagram started and Twitter took off, a reality in which rehab was the name and damage control was the game. Every other week, a once bright young thing was being shipped off to shape up, generally directly after living their breakdowns and breakups in front of every tabloid on the planet.
To highlight how the times have changed in the past decade (and to make you feel old AF) we've rounded up the biggest #celebrity headline grabbing moments from 2007 for your nostalgic pleasure. Enjoy!
1. Britney Spears Shaved Her Head Then Attacked The Paps With An Umbrella
To put it mildly, 2007 was a rough year for the Princess of Pop. Despite finally freeing herself from her feral, money-grabbing pleb of an ex-husband, Kevin Federline, the 12-month period marked the final chapter in a three-year fall from grace. She shaved her head and went on to wear a series of utterly deranged wigs, she lost a savage custody battle (winning primary custody back in 2015), and whacked the motorized shit out of a people carrier (and the press within it) with a fusty green umbrella.
On top of that, she basically bombed at the VMAs, — the cringe-inducing performance of "Gimme More" you can watch below — Chris Crocker begged you all to "Leave Britney Alone," and her baby sister Jamie-Lynn Spears announced her teen pregnancy to the world.
Phew! The main lesson to be learned here is: If Britney Spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through today.
2. Lindsay Lohan Went To Rehab 3 Times
Making it to the legal drinking age was as good an excuse as any for Lindsay Lohan to hit the bottle, and hit it she did. Between January and July 2007, a 21-year-old LiLo checked herself into rehabilitation clinics on three separate occasions. The first instant a "proactive" decision to take care of her own health, the following two a result of being arrested after driving under the influence.
In July, she released the following statement:
It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.
I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.
Thankfully her antics did inspire a little glitz and glamour though. Fashionistas will recall that her alcohol and drug-monitoring SCRAM bracelets were payed homage to in Karl Lagerfeld's 2007 collection for Chanel with the launch of the "Rehab Bag" — a fabulous quilted number that one strapped around the ankle like a fanny pack. Who said DUI's couldn't be haute?
3. Paris Hilton Went To Jail (And Turned It Into A PR Stunt)
If anyone could turn a jail sentence into a major PR opportunity, it's Paris Hilton. In May 2007, the hotel heiress was sentenced to serve 45 days in jail after violating her probation after an alcohol-related case of reckless driving. She was due to check herself into prison at any moment, yet rather than slinking off in secret, she devised a cunning plan to simultaneously soak up some red-carpet vibes and bypass (and by proxy, stick the middle finger up at) the press. She decided to attend the MTV Movie Awards.
Needless to say, she was one of the most sought-after celebs at the event that year, and also the most ripe for mocking. Awarded a prime seat near center stage, she was dealt a severe roasting from the event's host, Sarah Silverman, who instantly launched into a pretty mean monologue involving prison bars, schlongs and an infamous home video.
Yet, rather than being completely butt-hurt about Silverman's scathing jibes, Paris took it like a champ; she stayed for almost the entire show and then made a move. While the press assumed she was heading to an after party like the rest of the celebs in attendance, and thus busied themselves hiving around those still at the ceremony, she went straight to jail and deprived them of the Paris-Hilton-Enters-Prison money shot.
4. Nicole Richie Went To Jail For 82 Minutes
Perhaps it was because 2007 concluded one of the best reality shows to grace our TV sets — The Simple Life — that Nicole Richie joined ex-BFF gal pal Paz in the DUI department, or perhaps it was just the thing to do that year — whatever the reason, this year also saw Lionel's adopted daughter slammed with the same fate. Luckily for Nicole though, she only served 82 minutes of her 4-day sentence due to overcrowding.
The Sheriff's department claimed she was “treated in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence,” but something tells me if you or I were caught bammin' a Mercedes down the wrong side of an LA freeway, the punishment wouldn't be so lenient.
5. And — Brace Yourself — Mischa Barton Was Arrested Too
It would seem that Marissa Cooper's tragic death — still crying, tbh — in the Season 3 finale of The O.C. was but a depressing metaphor for the following year of Mischa Barton's life. Like gal pals Paris, LiLo and Nicole, Barton was cuffed after her car was spotted zig-zagging down the North La Cienega Boulevard and charged on three criminal counts: driving under the influence (snore), possession of illegal narcotics (dope) and driving without a valid license (tut, tut).
- What Ever Happened To Mischa Barton Since Marissa Died On 'The O. C.'?
- Lindsay Lohan: Where Did It All Go So Wrong?
- Paris Hilton And Kim Kardashian Bury The Hatchet In Touching Khristmas Miracle
6. Pete Doherty Called Kate Moss A 'Nasty Old Rag'
Kate Moss may have dated many "creative types" in her 42 years (Johnny Depp, Jefferson Hack, Jamie Hince), but none quite top the on-off relationship she shared with shambolic Libertines frontman, Pete Doherty. Often seen hanging off each other's limbs in blazed, well dressed, affectionate staggers, their relationship came to a grinding halt in 2007 when Kate finally admitted he wasn't really taking care of her.
In a demented bid to win back the supermodel's affections, Doherty went to British "publication" The Mirror to lay his feelings bare:
"There's been this lockdown and I can't get hold of her. This is the only way I can get through. I need her to know that she's out of her f***ing mind. Kate, if you love me then realize I don't want any other girl.
"Do I still love her? Don't ask me that question. Why do you think I'm here today talking to you? I'm here to tell her that I love her.
"It was love at first meet. When I met her she said she'd get a P tattoo, and I'd get a K. Soon afterwards she said 'I'm not fickle, I'll marry you'. I f***ed that up, didn't I?"
Yeah, you kind of did, Pete Doh-erty. And it probably had something to do with you calling her a "nasty old rag" in the same interview:
"Kate - a nasty old rag. We fell out for the same old reason. She accused me of f****** this girl who lives around the corner. We were watching a DVD together and Kate started going 'I could tell by the way you were sitting back there that you've f****d her'. I said 'You're out of your f****** mind.'
"I was really up for some peace and love that morning. I wasn't up for being called a c*** and being kicked in the head.
"She's got an awful temper. I grabbed a guitar and books and said 'I'm never going to be treated this way again'."
Ah, young love.
7. Justin Timberlake & Cameron Diaz Broke Up
Unlike the couple above, JT and Cameron Diaz's break-up wasn't predictable and actually just sad. The pair met in 2003 at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards and, three months later, Diaz joined her new bf on the road as he toured with Christina Aguilera. They continued to date for 4 years, until issuing the following statement in January 2007:
It has always been our preference not to comment on the status of our relationship, but, out of respect for the time we’ve spent together, we feel compelled to do so now, in light of recent speculation and the number of inaccurate stories that are being reported by the media,” the pair said. “We have, in fact, ended our romantic relationship, and have done so mutually and as friends, with continued love and respect for one another.
8. Anna Nicole Smith Dies
Playboy's former Playmate of the Year, Anna Nicole Smith, died of an accidental overdose — a result of nine different prescription drugs — aged 39 on Feb. 8, 2007. After spending three miserable days suffering from a grim combination of stomach-flu, a 105 degree fever and an ass infection from repeated injections, Smith was found squirreled away in a hotel suite surrounded by pill bottles, SlimFast, soda cans, nicotine gum and Tamiflu tablets.
9. Keith Richards Said He Snorted His Father
What to do when tequila breakfasts and cocaine marathons get boring? Make like a Rolling Stone and snort deceased family members, obviously. When Keith Richards was asked by NME magazine in April 2007 what the weirdest thing he'd ever shoved up his snout was, the response was pretty far from expected:
"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit. It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."
The revelation created headlines — as you would expect, it's not often an aged rocker claims to get high from the sooty remains of their dad — and Keith tried to smooth it over, clarifying that the ashes had spilled onto the table and mixed with the blow:
“What am I gonna do? Do I desecrate them with a dustbin and broom? So I wet my finger and I shoved a little bit of Dad up me hooter,. The rest of them I put round an oak tree.”
Oh, well that's OK then...
Side note: according to the Daily Mail, in 2015 Richards said he wanted his daughters Theodora and Alexandra to snort his ashes when he dies, too.
Someone take this dude's straw away!
Do you miss the good old days?