Being Captain James Tiberius Kirk has its perks. But before I became space Cassanova, I was tasked with a mission to boldly go where no one has gone before.
And I certainly did boldly go... straight into some sexy alien pants!
My personal mission was to turn the USS Enterprise from the flagship of the Federation into my personal sordid pleasure barge.
For the first time ever, I'm cracking open the pages of my little black book and revealing to you, my amorous young reader, the full extent of my captain's log.
First up I cut my teeth on this little number:
I took this while grabbing some tail on Pandora! I certainly got hold of her unobtanium!
Noticing a theme, I decided to explore some more primary colors...
My mother always told me to eat my greens...
Next up, I spotted this little beauty in need of beaming up:
Set phasers to stunning gentlemen!
I couldn't refuse the offer to liberate this royal hostage... from her clothes...
That's one celestial body I was glad to explore.
This intergalactic sauce-pot unleashed more than her kraken when I had Mr Sulu set a course... for intercourse.
This little fire-cracker kills her mate after every encounter, so after seeing what she could offer:
I gave her two choices: Peace... or utter seduction.
Three times the photons requires three times the captain: Luckily I showed her my big bang theory and...
I KHAAAAAAAAN'T believe what I'm seeing here!
After that I felt it was time to attempt re-entry...
The universe wasn't the only thing that was expanding that night!
Interested in being the next Captain of seduction?
I'll leave you with some advice my wingman gave me the first time I set out into panties unknown: