ByElle McFarlane, writer at
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Having already given birth to a murderous demonic shadow baby in her role as Melisandre in Game of Thrones, Carice van Houten was more than prepared for the spawning of her harmless human baby on Monday. Sharing parental duties with Australian actor Guy Pearce (Prometheus, Memento, Iron Man 3), who has changed his tune after telling The Daily Telegraph in 2012 that:

'I'm not consistent enough to be a parent - I blow too hot and cold."

It's clear that after amicably ending his eighteen year relationship with wife Kate Mestitz and meeting Carice, Guy has been blowing nothing but hot, fiery lord of light baby-making flames ever since.

Since welcoming baby boy Monte Pearce into the world via Twitter, the couple, in true Lord of Light fashion, have since offered up his placenta in the form of a smoothie to the general public:

But before we delve into the nutritional values of placenta eating, let's have a look back over Carice and Guys's journey into parenthood

Just before announcing that the couple were pregnant back in February, Carice took part in a particularity prophetic sketch on the Late Night with Seth Meyers show, aptly titled ‘Melisandre at a Baby Shower.’

Judging by our calculations Carice would have been around two months pregnant whilst shooting the sketch, and given the sincerity in which she delivers such lines as:

"I gave birth once, shadow demon, i’ll never forget the way it emerged from my womanhood”


“Clutch your child close to your breast woman, for the night is dark and full of terrors.”

we could tell early on that she would make an excellent mother.

Guy did however voice his concerns about the couple being too old to have a child:

Given that Melisandre revealed herself to actually be an ancient crone hiding behind a veil of sexy magic and that Guy played a controversially unconvincing elderly man in Prometheus, the world shared his fears:

Meanwhile, Carice began to fantasize what their baby would look like:

Using state of the art technology she merged these two pictures:

and created this:

Judging by the outcome, with Carices’s eyes and full red lips and Guys’s manly stubble and cropped hair-do, Monte is clearly going to be quite the looker.

Carice began to document her pregnancy quite extensively:

Taking pregnant mirror-selfies:

To which Guy reacted with smug feigned surprise on Twitter:

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Social Media often became the victim of her raging hormones:

Also posting this sight for sore-eyes:

Along with this enviable George Michael sticker set, which we can only hope becomes a sacred heirloom for young Monte:

She knew things were getting serious when her mother brought her a ‘grabber:’

And her legs started cramping:

And she tried to take contact lenses out of her contact-free eyeballs:

Occasionally she did however enjoy the perks of pregnancy:

And overall, seemed pretty ready to leave it behind:

But things were not always easy for the couple:

As the pregnancy progressed Guy contemplated becoming a father for the first time and was reminded of the loss of his own father in a plane crash when he was only eight years old:

Carice was also hit hard with the loss of her father, and the sadness that he’d never meet his grandson:

However this sadness was overcome by the joy of new life entering the world.

Just after Monte was born, Carice posted an image of this loving Bambi ornament. We of course hope that their story differs wildly to the Disney film:

And that Monte fairs better than the last child who was in her charge:

What Would You Buy For Baby Monte To Welcome Him Into The World?


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