ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, 2017 may only be a few months old, but it's already shaping up to be precisely the sort of terrible, terrible year that internet memes told us 2016 was. Indeed, with the year having already seen more than its fair share of iconic celebrity deaths, a major breakdown in political discourse, and the enthroning of a tiny-handed authoritarian demagogue in the US, it's actually possible that — if it were possible for a year to hate us — 2017 would be repeating our names as it goes to sleep, Arya Stark-style.

Depressed yet? Well then, let's double down on that:

Chris Evans And Jenny Slate Have Broken Up, Because 2017

'Gifted' [Credit: Fox Searchlight]
'Gifted' [Credit: Fox Searchlight]

Yup, that's right. According to Us Weekly, and have consciously uncoupled the hell out of their ridiculously adorable romantic partnership, thus ruining the vicarious dreams of half of geek-dom. Slate, after all, has not only starred in some of the most beloved indie movies of the past few years (Obvious Child was a particular standout) but was Mona-Lisa Saperstein on Parks and Recreation, which is enough reason to think she's incredible all by itself.

Evans, meanwhile, is Captain America, making their romance the stuff of nerdy legend.

That particular age of wonder has ended, it seems, just in time for the release of , a movie the pair both star in, and which will now inevitably lose half of its promotional interview time to questions about their breakup.

A source close to the pair (i.e. one of their agents, presumably) has revealed that they have apparently very much broken up — but don't, y'know, hate each other. According to that same source:

"It was completely amicable and a mutual decision due to conflicting schedules and they remain very close friends."

Which isn't hugely reassuring, seeing as their love was supposed to soften the blow of whatever else (the imagined conscious agency) of 2017 has in store for us. So, here's hoping they work it out soon. Or don't, and find all of the happiness with other people, and stay friends in a delightfully imitable fashion. After all, all we're really after here is the chance to pretend that if they could love each other's weirdness, they could love us too, right?

Right? Right?

What do you think, though? Would you like Jenny Slate and Chris Evans to get back together, or is that entirely none of our business? Let us know below!

Movie Pilot video has more cool superhero mashups and Easter Eggs — click here.

(Sources: Us Weekly)


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