There are some awful and coldhearted #Christmas characters out there. While I was writing my article imagining how the Justice League of Christmas characters might come together, I started to wonder: what about the Suicide Squad version?
These not-so-admirable team members may have some redeeming qualities and glimmers of hope — but they'd also need a truly evil threat to bring them together over the holidays. Have you ever looked into the legend of #Krampus?
The Krampus folklore has been passed around since the 1800s, with multiple versions of the tale spawning across the world, each pretty twisted. A horned, goat-like creature with a long forked tongue visits the home of misbehaving children to beat them or kidnap them. That doesn't sound very cheery to me!
So let's create a movie scenario where Krampus takes over the world with his evil followers. A defensive task force is put together on a dangerous mission to take out Krampus. Since this is considered a nearly impossible task, only the greediest people they could find agreed to stop this monster...for a price.
1. Willie Soke
Movie: Bad Santa (2003), Bad Santa 2 (2016)
Played By: Billy Bob Thornton
Team Contribution: Willie Soke is truly the worst of the worst. As a professional thief, he travels around and disguises himself as a department store Santa in order to rob shopping malls. Soke is conniving, an alcoholic and a major manipulator. For someone who has been shot multiple times and has even survived a few suicide attempts, he almost seems immortal.
That sort of mentality could be very beneficial to a Suicide Squad as he isn't afraid of taking risks. Soke knows what it is like to be double-crossed, plus — out of all the terrible things he has done while still avoiding incarceration — it is time he does some good.
2. The Grinch
TV Special: How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)
Voiced By: Boris Karloff
Team Contribution: Now, I don't want the joyful version of the Grinch after he joins Whoville; I want the grouchy Grinch with a heart two sizes too small. The scheming monster who is driven by his greed! With his struggle between good and evil, he can use that conflicting mindset as a member of the crew. The Grinch may have shown some redeemable qualities, but taking on this mission will show true dedication to his sneaky, no-holds-barred side.
3. Heat Miser
Movie: The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974), A Miser Brothers' Christmas (2008)
Voiced By: George S. Irving
Team Contribution: This hot-tempered little man lives in a volcano with his minions and has extreme mother issues — the perfect formula for evil. Heat Miser and his brother Snow Miser control the world's weather, but he's unhappy with his brother's control of the North Pole. He constantly fights with Snow Miser and their mother, Mother Nature, because he feels he doesn't get the same treatment and publicity.
The mean-spirited Heat Miser refuses to compromise with Mrs. Claus and even attacks elves, Jingle and Jangle, and reindeer Vixen with a strike of lightning. He is capable of melting things with just his touch, and can even project heat from his mouth — perfect for fighting a creature like Krampus, who is rumored to live in the deep underground.
4. Oogie Boogie
Movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Voiced By: Ken Page
Team Contribution: A burlap sack filled with bugs and snakes is certainly a thing of nightmares! Oogie Boogie is a torturous boogieman who loves to gamble with the lives of others. The sadistic character has already kidnapped and tortured Santa before being taken down by Jack Skellington.
At this point, Oogie Boogie has nothing to lose, being humiliated once before. He can bring strength to the group — but at the same time, the others would consider him dispensable if anything happens to him.
5. Marv and Harry
Movie: Home Alone (1990), Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
Played By: Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci
Team Contribution: The self-proclaimed "wet bandits" (later turned "sticky bandits") were definitely the dumbest duo of Christmas villains. Not only does a kid continuously harm them with traps, they get taken down by an old man with a shovel and a lady with birdseed.
Though not very bright, Marv and Harry did manage to escape prison, so I guess they deserve some credit. Putting them on an intense mission, with the only other alternative being kept in prison, might be an incentive. A reward for these brazen thieves might also help!
- READ MORE: These Christmas Characters Would Make The Ultimate 'Avengers'/'Justice League' Holiday Movie
Who would you put on your Suicide Squad list of Christmas villains? Comment below!