I usually try to wait to start watching post-Thanksgiving, but certain channels make that difficult (very difficult) these days. Once you dive into a few forgotten favorites, you can't turn them off — and soon you remember that some of the best characters of all time reside in the odd mishmash of the holiday genre...just like some of the best characters reside in the superhero genre. If only they could cross over in a shared universe!
What if your favorite holiday characters could team up? Think of the Avengers of Christmas. Actually, maybe it'd be a more unconventional group, like the Guardians of the Galaxy. They'd need a reason to come together, of course. Let's say, a major toy corporation has kidnapped Santa to take over all control of Christmas. A major rule for Christmas movies: don't you dare hurt Santa Claus!
So you need to build a team for a search-and-rescue mission to beat the clock before Christmas Eve. Who would you want on your supergroup? Here are five easy choices.
1. John McClane
Movie: Die Hard (1988)
Played By: Bruce Willis
Team Contribution: When you say "action movie," I think Die Hard. This police detective is a little rough around the edges, especially with his wisecracking personality and foul mouth, but he gets the job done and would do anything to save his family. He doesn't cower in the face of danger and can take down villains with creepy names like Hans Gruber.
You may question whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I am here to tell you, yes, it sure is. What doesn't say "holiday spirit" like sneaking around a huge office building during a Christmas party and taking down terrorists? McClane's toughness and police training would serve well as a team leader. It is also very important to have a risk taker on the team.
Movie: Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer (1964)
Team Contribution: Okay, so Bumble might be considered as the villain in this stop-motion classic, but he really is just misunderstood. After having his teeth removed by Hermey and falling off the cliff with Yukon Cornelius, he comes back as a reformed monster. Seemingly taught to be as scary as he looks, deep down he just seemed lonely. He's a giant on the good side of things, just like the Hulk!
As part of a team, Bumble could use his size and threatening demeanor in order to intimidate. Having connections to Santa and Rudolph would also give Bumble more incentive in wanting to join the group in saving Christmas.
3. Ralphie Parker
Movie: A Christmas Story (1983)
Played By: Peter Billingsley
Team Contribution: Ralphie might not be the toughest Christmas character by any means, but he has some potential. His unrelenting actions resulted in receiving his beloved Red Rider BB gun for Christmas. That sort of persistence and dedication could be very beneficial among a team. A little more training with the gun and he could be a precise shot — as long as he aims for the eyes and wears protective glasses, then he could be an advantage to the team.
His tenacious attitude and hints of rage show us that he can also throw down some punches. Bonus points if the bad guy's name is Scott Farkus or Black Bart. Plus he has a mouth on him, so he would get along with John McClane. Oh fuuuuudge!
4. Edward Scissorhands
Movie: Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Played By: Johnny Depp
Team Contribution: I will admit that Edward Scissorhands used to scare me as a kid, and still kind of creeps me out. After recently re-watching the movie, I would file it under the nonconventional holiday movie with Die Hard. An important chunk of the story takes place during the Christmas season, so it counts.
Edward is similar to Bumble in terms of being lonely and seriously misunderstood. He is caring and protective, and it certainly helps that he has sharp scissors for hands; he's basically the team's Wolverine. As we see in the movie, Edward doesn't want to intentionally harm people but he will step in as he did for Kim. maybe he could bury the bad guys in snow with his ice sculpture shavings. And if the team is in dire need of a haircut, he's your guy!
Movie: Gremlins (1984)
Voiced By: Howie Mandel
Team Contribution: Last but not least, featured in my absolute favorite Christmas horror movie is one of my favorite movie characters of all time: Gizmo. The adorable little Mogwai doesn't have an ounce of evil in him, but is willing to help when needed. When his owner Billy is fighting off Spike and the other gremlins, Gizmo ultimately saves the day.
The furball is small but mighty, reminding me of the Baby Groot of the crew. He loves taking inspiration from other people and can be very resourceful. We see that with Gremlins 2 as he acts like Rambo, so maybe he could be John McClane's mini-me. The rest of the team must remember: no bright lights, no getting him wet, and no feeding him after midnight!
- READ MORE: These Villainous Christmas Characters Would Make The Ultimate 'Suicide Squad' Holiday Movie
With so many great holiday movies, it was very challenging to pick my team. Who would you pick for yours? Comment below!