It's election 2016, America, and once again the people wonder if they are choosing between the lesser of two evils. But why vote for the lesser of two evils when you can vote for the ultimate one? That one is the ultimate fictional evil entity: Cthulhu.
The movement for this forgotten elder, cosmic bringer-of-destruction is #Cthulhu For America. From his Earth-bound hometown of R'lyeh, the city of madness, this fictional monster is definitely making an impression.
Although not possessing oddly defiant hair or a weird, semi-intelligent pant suit, this candidate has his own unique style:
"A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind." — Lovecraft's description of Cthulhu
Though it's not entirely known when this horrific, whimsical, insane push began, but its hold has seeped out of nerdom and into the ever-annoyed political public. Although this idea started as a small group of politically upset, dissatisfied literary horror nerds, this movement gained some main street attraction when famed director Guillermo del Toro, made his endorsement on Twitter :
As if this weren't enough, merchandise from t-shirts, bumper stickers and coffee mugs are out there all trying to swing the vote in favor of the mountain-sized, cephalopoid, destroyer of worlds.
And of course, what election would be complete without yard signs :
Although campaigns by Mickey Mouse have finally shown some steam, and even personalities such as Ferris Bueller, Captain Kirk, and Red Foreman have all been thought of as POTUS material at one time or another, it seems that Cthulhu, is the only one that can bring the chaos destruction his acolytes seek.
And maybe a little scare is exactly what our party-chosen windbags need right now.
Cthulhu has our vote so long as we hear an inauguration speech akin to this: