When we do something wrong, one of the best things we can do in the aftermath of our misdemeanor is to hold it up to the light for all to see and teach others not to make the same mistakes. After #CubaGoodingJr. lifted #SarahPaulson's skirt up, on stage, at an #AHSRoanoke panel at PaleyFest this Sunday you'd have thought Cuba would have done just that. Instead, he's decided to use this moment of sexist insanity to teach the world not about the dangers of disrespecting women, but to teach them about the dangers of the internet and to justify who he is as a person.
Wait. What? Yes, really.
Before we continue, check out video evidence of said skirt lifting below:
- Cuba Gooding Jr. Lifted Sarah Paulson's Skirt In Public And The Internet Isn't Having It
- Ranking The Many Faces Of 'American Horror Story' Star Sarah Paulson
- 'American Horror Story' Cast: Which Political Characters Will Sarah Paulson & Evan Peters Play In Season 7?
Sarah Is Like A Sister Who Cuba Can Publicly Humiliate
After the internet justifiably exploded with outrage at Cuba's frankly bizarre and decidedly un-funny 'prank,' he defended himself by stating that he "loves the lady that is Sarah Paulson." Going on to clarify the precise nature of their relationship to People Magazine, Cuba said:
"We have a banter like brother and sister, which is how the spirit of that whole panel was.”
However, just what kind of "brother" would lift his "sister's" skirt up, all the way to her upper thigh, on stage in front of a huge audience, remains a mystery to us all.
'The Internet, It’s A Beast. It’s An Information Highway Without Regulation'
Continuing his interview with People, Cuba highlighted the fact that he has two sons who are in college, and with regards to this incident he decided not to tell them that lifting a woman's skirt up is wrong, but instead to tell them:
"Guys, the internet, it’s a beast. It’s an information highway without regulation. Any image you put on there can be interpreted any way it wants to.”
And yet, here in lies an image, and several videos, which contextualize the moment in question, none of which make Cuba's actions seem any more redeemable. What Cuba seems to really be saying to his sons is that you should be careful because if you do something wrong, the internet will catch you out and call you up on it, relentlessly.
'The Only Thing You Can Do Is Represent Your Moral Compass And Who You Are'
Explaining that "representing some kind of sexual misconduct" was not his intent, Cuba referred to his sons again and told them that at the end of the day:
"The only thing you can do is represent your moral compass and who you are. Because images are going to be out there without your control, so continue standing in your integrity."
Good one Cuba. So as long as you are true to yourself you can justify humiliating women because hey, that's OK with your moral compass and how you define yourself as a person. Lesson learned. Excuse me while I go crack some dude in the nuts on stage because I'm such a hilarious joker with a slightly dodgy moral compass.