Imagine, for a moment, that you had the ability to speak to any fictional movie character you liked — that you could, for a few moments, ask any beloved hero or villain of your choosing a few simple questions, and reasonably expect them to answer. Who would you choose? Would you ask #Gandalf just why he didn't fly an eagle to Mordor and save Frodo all that trouble? Would you press #IronMan for his favorite fast food spots in New York City? Heck, this is your call, so if you want to just talk to one of the #GilmoreGirls about coffee and terrible movies, that's A-OK too.
If your answer just so happened to be 2016's favorite cinematic son, #Deadpool, though, then hoo boy, do we have some good news for you. Y'see, Empire Magazine recently interviewed the masked hero (it's best not to ask how, but let's just say it involves #RyanReynolds pretending to be someone he's technically not), and as it turns out...
Deadpool's Answers To Fairly Straightforward Questions Are As Ridiculous As You'd Imagine
Let's take a look at how that went, shall we? Empire's questions are in bold, and Deadpool's answers are italicized (and very silly indeed).
How did you celebrate the success of your movie?
"I had the cast of Sesame Street fired."
What’s the most extravagant thing you’ve bought with all that cash?
"It’s a Fox film. I was paid in cocaine."
Who’s your unlikeliest celebrity fan?
What was your favorite movie of 2016? (Not your own.)
"Hunt For The Wilderpeople. (Serious answer.)"
Which film of 2016 would have been improved by you being in it?
"The Amanda Knox documentary."
What’s the strangest fan encounter you’ve had this year?
"I got my wife pregnant."
What can we expect from the sequel?
"T.J. Miller snorting live mice off a mirror in the bathroom at the Minneapolis airport. Followed by a festival of handjobs. (Serious answer.)"
What are your New Year’s Eve plans?
Who’s asking? Doug? Did Doug contact you?
All of which suggests two key things: One, that Ryan Reynolds can successfully conduct an interview in character as Deadpool, which is awesome, and two, that #TJMiller is about to have a tough 2017.
And now all we have to do is wait for that sequel to arrive...in 2018.
Still aching for more news about Deadpool 2, though? Never fear, we've got you covered right here.
In the meantime, what do you think? Will T.J Miller really be forced to snort live mice on the set of Deadpool 2 — and, if so, what will PETA say? Let us know below!