In a new wave of modernization, Disney have decided to toss a scene of women being sold off as brides (a.k.a. sex slaves) deep into the bowels of the sea where it belongs.
#Disney imagineering executive Kathy Mangum reported the changes in a blog post which also announced new scenes relating to the popular movies that were originally inspired by the classic ride.
The line of women who are seen tied together being flogged like common cattle will be replaced by both men and women who are being forced to hand over their possessions as booty by their new pirate overlords. The red-headed woman who previously fronted the parade will remain, but will be transformed into a pirate complete with a gun to blow the landlubbers down.
Naturally, some Disney purists have been waving their cutlasses around screeching "political correctness gone mad me hearties," but a park full of static relics of the past isn't great for guests. Or, for that matter, in the spirit of Walt Disney himself. In his own words:
"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."
Many of the cries of outrage seem to center around the bizarre confusion that the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is a deeply educational experience about the history of piracy which, spoilers, it isn't.
When the whole purpose of a ride is to entertain family groups, it's probably best to keep to the bits of piracy that seem a bit fun such as waving a sword around, gold pieces, shanties and getting wasted. Not, you know, selling a "wench" to some smelly old sea freak who she probably just watched disembowel her husband.
Enough of my opinions already though, let's hand over to the good people of Twitter to see what they have to say on the matter. Fire in the hole!
She's 100 percent right.
Get Your Priorities Right, People!
#Cosplay superstar and all-round Disney dude doesn't have any time for human slavery being depicted as a bit of a lol.
Paul Feig Is Here For Your Childhood!
See, that was easy to solve, right?
Pirates Are Bad People
Pirates are bad people, just like anyone who doesn't care that the ride is being changed.
Historical Context Gone Mad!
It's meant to be educational, right?
Sarcasm Mode: Engaged
Let's be real, the main travesty was when they introduced a waxen Johnny Depp figurine on the ride.
Well, Why Not?
HamJenkins III shows how much he cares about the whole controversy through the medium of photoshop.
What do you think of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean ride controversy?
(Source: Disney Parks Blog)