Dwayne Johnson, the man with the 5,000-calorie daily eating plan and the body of Adonis, the work ethic of a Roman Emperor's horse, and his own, slightly insane motivational alarm clock app, is pretty much inescapable right now. Guy or girl, you probably have a bit of a crush on him. And that's OK.
Because he will literally just cry if he ever stops working, Dwayne Johnson has an incredible slate of movies and TV shows coming up in the next four years and, let's be honest, you'll probably be seeing most if not all of them. Let's take a sneak peek.
What is it? An HBO comedy set in the world of sports management. The Rock plays Spencer Strasmore, a retired NFL star who isn't quite sure what to do next. Think Entourage meets Empire.
When's it out? Season 1 aired last year. Season 2 begins in July.
How excited should I be? It's not a game-changer, but Ballers is solidly entertaining.
What is it? Prepare to suspend your disbelief: Johnson plays Bob, once a bullied, overweight geek, who turns his life around and bags a career as a CIA agent. Bob and Kevin Hart's Calvin team up on an espionage mission. Expect sex jokes and bullets.
When's it out? June 17, 2016.
How excited should I be? Depends — how much do you like Kevin Hart movies? If they're your thing, you'll probably love Central Intelligence. Here's hoping for flashbacks with fat suits, Friends-style.
What is it? The latest Disney animated feature, a rare adventure with a non-white protagonist. The Rock voices Maui, a demi-god (hardly a stretch) who accompanies Moana on an oceanic adventure to a mythical island.
When's it out? November 23, 2016.
How excited should I be? You won't have to actually look at The Rock, meaning you won't feel quite so guilty about not hitting the gym in three weeks. And the premise sounds like a pretty wild ride.
What is it? If you don't know what Baywatch is, you're probably too young to be on the internet. Go watch a cartoon! The Rock and Zac Efron lead the cast in this remake of the seminal, super sexy '90s TV show, which didn't really have much of a plot beyond hot lifeguards running in slow-motion and having lots of sex. Not that I'm complaining.
When's it out? May 19, 2017.
How excited should I be? Very. Baywatch was a phenomenon, and the new cast is both hot and talented enough to make this big-screen remake the perfect summer blockbuster. Pack your flip flops.
What is it? The imaginatively titled follow-up to Furious 7, by far the biggest movie yet in the Fast & Furious franchise, will continue to bring the franchise to new heights. Expect the set pieces and car chases to be even more insane this time. Filming is happening now in Iceland, Cuba and Ohio, moving to Atlanta and NYC later this year.
When's it out? April 14, 2017.
How excited should I be? Probably quite. They may not be intellectual, but there's something very charming about the "family" of the Fast movies. After almost two decades of movies, they really feel like blood.
What is it? A classic '90s kids' film getting the inevitable remake treatment from braindead Hollywood. We don't need it, but that's not to say Jumanji won't be great. The original is a total trip.
When's it out? July 28, 2017.
Should I be excited? I'm just going to direct you to the above Instagram post. You will be excited, because The Rock is Hypemaster of the internet.
San Andreas 2
What is it? In the follow-up to last year's big summer disaster flick, The Rock resumes his role as Ray Gaines, the badass LA Fire Dept. rescue pilot who saves the day when a shift in the San Andreas fault incites a pretty intense earthquake. Not sure what the plot will be this time — how much bad luck can one coastline have?
When's it out? Not yet announced, but probably 2018.
Should I be excited? Sure, why not?
What is it? The DC superhero movie nobody asked for, but then nobody knew what to expect from Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy, and look how that turned out. The Rock plays Black Adam rather than the titular protagonist.
When's it out? 2019.
Should I be excited? Yes, because it's a superhero movie and if history has taught us anything it's that we will always be excited, even if we might get burned. Plus, Hollywood's ultimate nice guy playing a supervillain is a rare treat.