Even before reading the headline to this article you'd know that messing with #DwayneJohnson is probably a bad idea: He's 6ft2, built like a brick shit house and a former WWE wrestler. These things equal, or should equal, a trifecta of NOPE when debating whether or not to sucker-punch the highest paid actor of 2016. But, just in case it doesn't, let's add in that he once tried to pull someone's tongue out of their mouth. Because apparently that's a thing that happened.
During an interview with Sports Illustrated, #TheRock shared a tale that dates back to his college days as a football player for University of Miami, and it paints his character as an absolute lunatic. His football career was on the rocks and when his teammate, Kevin Patrick, began to mock him, the pair started to fight:
"I was always running hot because I wasn't getting the playing time that I thought I deserved. The truth of the matter is Warren Sapp was just a better player, but when you're young, you can't see that. Me and Kevin were in a coach's office, and he was talking s---, as always, but this time I just lost it. It was like a movie fight—the desk got turned over, stuff was flying all over the place. We spilled out onto the weight room floor, still going at it."
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But according to Johnson, it didn't stop there. He reached inside Patrick's mouth and tried to evict the man's tongue from its home:
"He wouldn't stop talking, so I decided to pull his tongue out. I stuffed my big ol' hand into his mouth, and I had a couple of fingers around his tongue, but it was so damn slippery! I was quite serious about pulling it out, but I couldn't quite get a hold of it. Eventually I gave up, the fight ended, and two minutes later we were hugging each other. It was so dumb."
Erm. What? How do you go from wrapping your claws around a friend's tongue to embracing them within minutes? Why would you even want to?! I cannot imagine anything worse than grappling inside a pal's face, let alone doing it and then giving them a hug. What the fuck, Dwayne!
It's a disturbing tale to say the least, but it's made all the more confusing by the fact that Kevin Patrick says it never happened. He explained to Palm Beach Post:
"I don’t give a sh*t what he says. We got in a fight. There’s no doubt. We tore that place apart. But he never stuck his hand in my mouth."
And reiterated that fact via Twitter:
Which leaves us with a number of possible options for unearthing the truth. Let's take this to a poll, shall we?