ByTino Jochimsen, writer at
The bald minority at Moviepilot.
Tino Jochimsen

Even by standarts of lazy blockbuster marketing, these two posters for Escape Plan look terrible.

But before I continue madly ranting in disgust, look yourself. I have classified both posters as Exhibit A and Exhibit B, because surely some crime was commited producing them.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit A exudes a certain charm if only because Stallone and Schwarzenegger look like little toy soldiers holding automatic weapons. I always hoped those existed as a kid, so I take this as late (albeit dissapointing) wish-fullfilment. I also find the tagline "No One Breaks Out Alone" strangely moving.

It makes me wonder: Is there a homoerotic twist in the movie? Schwarzenegger and Stallone alone in some tunnel, sure that they'll die, just, you know, going for it, hungrily making out?

Sadly Whitney Housten is gone, otherwise this very tagline could also be the name of a killer ballad on the soundtrack!

Exhibit B, however, exudes no such charm. It exudes just the utter lack of ideas. It's - excuse my French - complete shit. No even a romantic tagline? Common!

If you're wondering where my anger comes from, look what poster design for Lock up, a comperable Stallone flick looked like in 1989:

How can something, ANYTHING coming from the 1980s look better than something contempory? I rest my case.


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