We’re in the thick of the holiday season and everyone is up to his or her eyeballs with shopping, decorating and the traditional movie viewing. Classics such as A Christmas Story and It’s a Wonderful Life there are plastered over television screens and the odd movie theater to get everyone in the spirit.
But what about those films that we in reality don’t get to enjoy. I’m speaking of movies that are popular in the make-believe world that our favorite Christmas flicks are set in. I’ve compiled a list of those films that Hollywood should consider bringing to a theater near us.
1. 'Christmas Slay'
Christmas Slay takes place in Ernest Saves Christmas. A name like Ernest P. Worrell may not bring memories of gut-busting laughter immediately (especially with some of the later entries) but this holiday favorite was a constant in my house. The plot revolves around Santa Claus trying to coax a down-on-his-luck actor to become his successor. Good hearted Joe Carruthers wants to believe Santa but his dependence on having a roof over his head and not starving to death (spoiled bastard) force Joe to take a role in a Christmas-themed horror movie called Christmas Slay. The movie inside the movie focuses on an alien coming to Earth and terrorizing some kids at Christmas time. Think John Carpenter’s The Thing during the holidays. Not bad but what more can you expect from a film franchise spawned for a character born in commercials?
2. 'The Night The Reindeer Died'
The film Scrooged gave us a couple of things. One of Bill Murray’s finest comedic turns, a decent reimagining of A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott version or GTFO), and a few parody commercials at the beginning of the film showcasing what the fictitious network had in their upcoming lineup. The best of which was the Night the reindeer died. Lee Majors stars in this “Die Hard at the North Pole” adventure flick as the Six Million Dollar man. Terrorists have taken over the workshop and action and hilarity presumably ensue. The only thing I can see delaying this masterpiece is obtaining the rights to the Six Million Dollar man name. I understand that a reboot has been in the works for a bit now but that should be the only hurdle. Lee Majors is still kicking and, hell, the older he gets, the funnier the parody would be.
See what could have been here:
3. 'Angels With Filthy Souls'
In the middle of Kevin McAllister’s dream vacation from his terrible family, he plops down with a literal bucket of ice cream and pops in a copy of a "naughty movie," which in this case happens to be Angels with Filthy Souls. The film itself is an homage to a James Cagney flick and produces one of the greatest film lines in history; “Keep the change ya filthy animal” is quoted by young and old alike in today's world. What if we had an entire movie to quote from? Imagine a whole gangster film like The Godfather set in the '30s but actually filmed as if it were shot in the '30s.
The Godfather had a realism that was unprecedented at the time and is rightfully hailed as one of the greatest films of all time. Angels with Filthy Souls could prove to be a slick homage to the masterpiece. And we already know they did a fake sequel in the form of Angels with Filthier Souls, as it was present in Home Alone II: Lost in New York. Could a trilogy be possible?
- Related Article: Harry Potter Can Trace Its Origins To 'Home Alone'…And 'Die Hard'?
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- Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal! Could You Actually Survive The 'Home Alone' Traps In Real Life?
Take a glimpse into the mob underworld via Home Alone:
Someone apparently already made a flick called Christmas Slay. It in no way shows an alien coming to kill kids at Christmas. It instead digs up the tired premise of a psychotic Santa Claus. Look guys, this was already done better by Larry Drake in an episode of Tales from the Crypt. This one is British though, so...yeah.
Which of these fake films would you like to see explored?
What's your favorite real or fake holiday classic? Sound off below!