As we wade wang-first into the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones, it is quite literally balls to the Wall for the show about pornography and politics. Since GoT is that perfect balance of hot between the sheets and mean on the streets, fans are used to seeing the odd Greyjoy girth or "Nob" Stark. However, did anyone notice that Season 7 of the raunchy ramble was a little light on the ol' R-rated material?
Dickon Or Dick-Off?
There was a lot that was different about the penultimate season of #GameofThrones season, and it looks like we lost a fair bit of "peen time" in favor of CGI dragons and major deaths. We may have seen the ample peach of a certain Jon Snow do the horizontal shuffle in the finale, but according to Broadly writer Sara David's impressively extensive study, that didn't stop the other six episodes lacking in the trouser department.
Heading back to Season 1 back in 2011, it was 50 Shades of Greyjoy as the cast got their clothes off some 33 times. Of this, 88% were women, and most of that would've been #EmiliaClarke flashing her dragon eggs as Daenerys Targaryen. Although the formula clearly worked, Season 2 gifted us 16 nudes — this time all women — then upped it to 19 in Season 3. Perhaps the early days were caught up in Red Weddings and vagina smoke babies, but it wasn't just Jaime and Brienne getting steamy in the tub as Season 4 and 5 upped the body count to 23 and 28 naked actors respectively.
Season 6 scaled it back slightly with 22 baring all, but by the time we reached Season 7, only six Thrones stars shared their assets. Thankfully, at least Season 7 closed the gender divide with 50% of nudes being men and 50% being women, but we have been left a little sex starved. If you wanted to get a closer look, the site went and put it all in a handy graph for you to digest.
Perhaps we took it for granted, but those early days were practically sticky from interludes to Littlefinger's brothel and tower banging from the Lannisters. The show had so much raunch and rape in its formative years, experts even coined the word "sexposition" to describe how HBO kept us "cumming" back for more. For a show that has drawn so much criticism for its use of sex scenes — and particularly rape — you will never be able to please everyone. Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have carefully trod a tightrope, with scenes like Dany's and Sansa's rape ordeals arguably moulding them into the female powerhouses we see today.
Sure, the show may have lost some of its "spunk," but as we move toward #GeorgeRRMartin's end game, there simply isn't time to get frisky in a frozen wasteland or climax in a cave. Game of Thrones is by still no means safe for the tots to watch, but with Season 8 reduced to just six episodes, expect to see less sausage than a shower with Varys, Grey Worm, and Theon.
Check out the Sansa rape scene and don't forget our poll below:
Do you miss the nudity on 'Game of Thrones'?