With more T&A than a Westworld orgy, HBO's #GameofThrones certainly isn't afraid to give us the odd dickslap now and then to give audiences their fill of willies in Westeros. However, the length of a certain King in the North's manhood has come into question of late, in a turn of events that would make even the pallid skin of a White Walker blush.
Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss aren't afraid of launching a pecker or two our way, but what about the leading man himself? Is #JonSnow really packing or lacking?
Fancy A Snow Job?
Sorry ladies (and gents of a certain flavor), we can't speak for actor #KitHarington, but Jon Snow really does have a "Littlefinger" down there. Speaking to Esquire, Benioff and Weiss revealed the chink in the armor of our floppy haired bastard:
"There has to be some downside to being Kit Harington, right? It seems only fair. He's handsome, talented, smart, and so decent to the core that it's impossible not to like him. Maddening. The one thing we can do is saddle his character with a tiny pecker."
The issue reached locker room banter levels back in Season 6, when we got an eyeful of Harington's buns as a deceased Snow laid out on the slab. The camera stopped just shy of going south of the Wall, but it didn't stop some commenting on the Lord Commander's "Greyworm." If you remember, the bearded Tormund Giantsbane poked fun at Jon with possibly one of the best lines of the show:
"I saw your pecker. What god would have a pecker that small?"
Well, maybe this explains his long face?
Elsewhere, we know that little Lord Tyrion Lannister makes up for his height in the trouser department (if the whores of Mole's Town are to be believed), and that Theon Greyjoy was renowned for his manhood before Ramsay Bolton grabbed it with both hands.
However, we all need to remember that it isn't the size that matters, it's how you use it. Anyway, who needs a Wun-Wun sized cock when you're tipped to be the Lord of Light reborn and the Iron Throne is in your grasp? As Season 7 unfolds and Jon looks set to team up with Daenerys Targaryen, let's see if he puts the peen to the queen to make the show's greatest pairing since the Hound kicked Brienne in her babymaker.
It certainly makes sense that the most perfect man in the Seven Kingdoms should have a teeny (weeny) flaw. Samson had his hair, Achilles his heel, and Jon Snow has a tiny chap — well, it is rather chilly up north. While it sounds like even Ramsay Bolton would struggle to find which bit of Jon Snow to lop off, at least Theon won't feel quite so low anymore. Anyway, it didn't seem to bother Ygritte in their steamy cave romp, however, if Jon Snow keeps his brains in his pecker, it would certainly explain why he "knows nothing."
Check out the trailer for Season 7 and don't forget our poll below!
Would Jon Snow's 'little pecker' put you off jumping into bed with him?