ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

The illustrious film career of cut-price schlock-pusher Uwe Boll is finally at a close. Na ja, his movie magic is Uwe. In an interview with the Toronto Metro, the low-budget German regisseur said that he's quit the movies for lack of critical acclaim — and, therefore, cash:

"I can’t go back to student filmmaking because I have made so many movies in my life, and I can’t make cheaper and cheaper movies at my age. It’s a shame. I would be happy to make movies but it is just not financially profitable."

BloodRayne 2 / Majesco Entertainment
BloodRayne 2 / Majesco Entertainment

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Maintaining he's a better director than triple-Oscar winner Oliver Stone, Boll bemoaned the paucity of praise for his RT-25 percent-rated opus Assault on Wall Street:

"It’s way better than 'Wall Street 2' by Oliver Stone. It’s better researched, it’s better written, it’s better, but it doesn’t have Michael Douglas. It’s not 'Jason Bourne' or any bullshit movie where they make stuff up. My movies are real."

BloodRayne 3: The Third Reich / Phase 4 Films
BloodRayne 3: The Third Reich / Phase 4 Films

It's hardly surprising that Uwe Boll retired from movie-making, as he already confirmed he was having a hard time securing funding (even via Kickstarter) in a bizarre rant on YouTube. If you've ever wanted to see a middle-aged German dude have a shouty Real Housewives meltdown, you have to watch this.

"Fuck you all... what retarded amateur idiots collecting money on that absurd website.

It looks like nobody gives a shit about 'Rampage 3' so maybe I shouldn't do it then. I have enough money to play golf until I'm dead...I want to do 'Rampage 3' because it is an important movie, but it looks like you are easier giving $600,000 if you make a movie about some retarded wizard in the forest or for another Marvel Avengers bullshit dirt, so goodbye."

Note: I secretly adore BloodRayne and don't care who knows it, but Uwe Boll's YouTube Rampage leaves a bad taste. Bye Felicia.


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