ByElle McFarlane, writer at Creators.co
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

Q: Who are the biggest wankers on the planet?

A: Americans!

Well, that is at least according to Pornhub's user stats for 2016. Yes it's that time of year where we get to pull back the covers of the worlds most popular conglomerate and see what we've all been stealthily searching for in our most private moments. Or perhaps on a slow work day.

And guess what? is helping a new army of pud(in)whackers to create a Suicide wad all of their own. So, join us as we delve deep in to the filthy cesspool of sin which is Pornhub's seething, throbbing pit of data, analysis and calculated insight as we lead you through their most titillating discoveries.


Lesbians, Stepmom & MILFs Are Giving You A Firm Familial Hand

Because few things are more arousing then moms who are not your mom, and lesbians because well, what feels more authentic than watching two women with prosthetic talons claw at each others lady gardens for 7 hot minutes, "lesbian," "step mom" and "MILF" are Pornhub's most popular search terms.

The top 3 search terms are quickly followed by, in order:

  • Teen
  • Step Sister
  • Mom
  • Cartoon
  • Hentai
  • Massage
  • Japanese

God only knows what the typical Pornhub user must feel when their mom, stepmom, step sister and the neighborhood MILF start discussing the local Japanese massage parlor which has just opened between the cartoon shop and the lesbian bar. We suspect it looks something like this:

But It's Only Men Who Want To Keep It In The Family

[Credit: Pornhub.com]
[Credit: Pornhub.com]

When these search terms are broken down by gender however, we're given a very different picture. Men apparently want to stick it to what they know, searching for pretty much every family figure excluding dad and women are seemingly searching for a good old Blue is the Warmest Color lesbian scissoring extravaganza - regardless of the mechanical viability of search a feat.

The one thing that unites the sexes? "Cartoon" coming in at number 13 for both genders respectively, proving that Popeye is still inspiring us to swallow much more than just a can of spinach, although lets hope "cartoon scissoring" doesn't take off.

'Cartoon Scissoring' - The Most Popular Pornhub Search Term Of 2017?

Harley Quinn's Creamin' Your Puddin's

[Credit: Pornhub.com]
[Credit: Pornhub.com]

To absolutely no one's surprise, Harley Quinn topped the chart as the most searched for Pornhub movie character of 2016. With her barely there shorts, phallic baseball bat and a tongue which should have been billed as a supporting actor in its own right, Harley Quinn exploded onto our screens in Suicide Squad, a film with about as much plot as your standard porno, and inspired more than just your average daytime fantasy.

With her search volume peaking in August around the time of the Suicide Squad release date, Harley Quinn found a second throbbing resurgence around Halloween, when people were no doubt inspired by the 'sexy' Halloween cosplayers populating all respected news outlets during this time.

You're Keeping It Up With Kim Kardashian & Kylie Jenner

Year after year, Kim Kardashian trends as the most searched for celebrity on Pornhub, with her name being searched for over 2.5 million times a month. Wracking up an impressive 29 million searches in 2016, Kim's half sister Kylie came in in second place with 4.5 million followed by Angelina Jolie and, perhaps most concerningly, Donald Trump.

So, Because You Asked For It:

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