ByElle McFarlane, writer at
'There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.'
Elle McFarlane

The nominations are in, the Oscar bets are on and now all we have to do to prepare for the 2017 Academy Awards is plan our Oscars night entertainment, and naturally, this includes deciding upon the rules for this year's drinking game.

With each year pulling it's own unique set of celeb-studded surprises, we're looking forward to watching the insanity of the 89th Academy Awards in all it's glory from the comfort of our couch, Long Island Iced Tea in hand. So grab a pen and paper as things are about to get real, as we reveal the Oscars 2017 drinking game rules.

[Credit: ABC]
[Credit: ABC]

20. Each Time A Celeb Arrives In An Stuffed Animal

  • Drink Of Choice: A Flaming Giraffe
  • Drinking Penalty: You must drink a shot for every time you've seen a living version of this animal in real life.

19. When Two Stars Greet Each Other With Poorly Hidden Insincere Loathing

  • Drink Of Choice: Absolut B*tch
  • Drinking Penalty: Take a shot but hold it in your mouth until it becomes almost unbearably bitter. Then choose to either swallow it or spray it over your fellow party guests.

18. Every Time The Award Hosts Go Off-Script

  • Drink Of Choice: Grandma's unbelievably weak fruit punch
  • Drinking Penalty: You are doomed to drink until the end of the painfully "unscripted" skit continues. Then you must take a further shot once it's confirmed as being officially over.

17. Each Time Emma Stone Surprises Someone From Behind

  • Drink Of Choice: Red Snapper
  • Drinking Penalty: As you take a shot, thrust the guest to your left from behind. If you're at the end of the row, or on your own, an empty air thrust is permitted.

16. When Stars Look Like They'd Rather Be Anywhere Than At The Oscars

  • Drink Of Choice: A Havana Too Cooler
  • Drinking Penalty: After you take a sip, you have to look disinterestedly at the screen and remind everyone, loudly, that you're only watching the Oscars ironically.

15. Each Time A Celeb Takes A Selfie

  • Drink Of Choice: Brain Damage
  • Drinking Penalty: Each time a celeb takes a selfie, you must also take a selfie of yourself taking a shot and upload it to Instagram with the hashtag .

14. If Anyone Manages To Be As Catastrophically Awful As Anne Hathaway Circa 2011

  • Drink Of Choice: Gulps of Vodka Straight From the Bottle
  • Drinking Penalty: If the worst thing imaginable happens, you must drink an entire bottle of vodka so as to dull the savage pain of a Hathaway-esque cringe fest.

13. Whenever Meryl Streep Is Greeted As A Sacred Being

  • Drink Of Choice: Red Wine and a Wafer
  • Drinking Penalty: You must cross yourself before taking a sip of the holy blood of Meryl, followed quickly by devouring a sacred Streep wafer. Amen.

12. Whenever Daniel Day Lewis Is Greeted As A Sacred Being

  • Drink Of Choice: Holy Water
  • Drinking Penalty: You must down the glass of holy water and then isolate yourself from each other for 5 minutes as you practice some off-the-cuff method acting in which you prepare to play your must complex role yet: Yourself.

11. Every Time A Star Is 'Rock And Roll'

  • Drink Of Choice: Jack Daniels and Coke
  • Drinking Penalty: Before taking your sip you, as a collective, need to sing at least 4 lines from a Metallica song of your choosing while making the "rock" hand symbol.

10. Every Time A Celeb Insinuates They're In An Incestuous Relationship

  • Drink Of Choice: Sister's Slippery Nipple
  • Drinking Penalty: You must make prolonged, intense eye contact with your nearest family member as you slowly sip on your Sister's Slippery Nipple.

9. When Beyoncé And Unborn Spawn Inevitably Slay The Red Carpet

  • Drink Of Choice: Liquid Gold
  • Drinking Penalty: Before drinking, you must chose one party attendee to be "The Queen" then you must all open your wallets and "make it rain" on The Queen before knocking back your shot of gold.

8. Every Time 'La La Land' Wins An Oscar

  • Drink Of Choice: The Overrated Piña Colada
  • Drinking Penalty: Before taking a shot, you need to jump on and off the nearest chair, perform a clumsy pirouette and then break out into a hot rash of jazz hands.

7. When Things Get Political

  • Drink Of Choice: Attitude Adjustment
  • Drinking Penalty: After taking your shot, the group must repetitively chant "We're angry!" Then, gradually increase in loudness until by the fifth and final chant, tears are running down your red, screaming faces.

6. When, Gaga

  • Drink Of Choice: Bloody Mary
  • Drinking Penalty: You must look into the eyes of the person on your right and ask them to decide whether you're using your poker face or if you were just "born this way" while you take your shot.

5. When A Norm Looks Awkward Next To A Star

  • Drink Of Choice: Salty Dog
  • Drinking Penalty: You must go around the group and individually say what you think each guests greatest physical flaw is.

4. When A Dress Arrives With Its Own Ego

  • Drink Of Choice: Royal Arrival
  • Drinking Penalty: After you take your shot you must each re-enter the room with the sassiest, saltiest entrance you can muster and stare down the other party guests with a look of strong disdain.

3. When The Award Hosts Have Zero Chemistry

  • Drink Of Choice: A Carafe of Coffee Liquor, Beer and Red Wine
  • Drinking Penalty: You must take this shot, and pretend that it's the most divine drink you've ever tasted. If you throw up, you forfeit your right to stay at the party.

2. When All You Can See Is An Ocean Of White

  • Drink Of Choice: Dirty White Mother
  • Drinking Penalty: For each white face that you see on mass, you must take a sip from your glass. Good luck keeping upright, friend.

1. When Two Divas Touch

  • Drink Of Choice: Champagne Cocktail
  • Drinking Penalty: When two divas touch, each member of the party must simultaneously touch the screen, take a shot and then raise a second glass to all our fallen divas.


Do you think it's possible to survive the Oscars 2017 drinking game?

[Image source: ABC]


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