We have all heard about the "missing millions" that a befuddled Johnny Depp reportedly misplaced, but an exhaustive piece by the Hollywood Reporter claims to know what happened to them and — spoilers — he spent them all on wine and diamond cuffs.
Below is a roundup of the 9 most jaw-dropping revelations from the piece which boldly claims that "Depp's capricious behavior and poor decision-making placed him in a serious financial bind." Go on, make it rain, Johnny.
1. It Always Turns Up Where You Least Expect It...
While we are all guilty of blunderous feats such as losing your wallet and then finding it in the deep freeze a week later, Johnny Depp reportedly has no idea what has happened to $650 million. Again, for gravity, SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS.
To put that into perspective, you can buy this 650 foot long yacht with a helipad for that kind of money and it is lost. Gone.
2. Impulse Art
While us mere mortals will have to settle for the illicit thrill of impulse purchasing some particularly expensive cheese, Depp has more cultured tastes.
The star reportedly purchased three Leonor Fini paintings on a whim at the eye-bleeding prices of $320,000 for the first two and a third for $245,000. Don't worry though, it wasn't all self-indulgent, the third one was a gift for #JohnnyDepp's ex, Amber Heard. Ouch.
3. Staff Shockers
Naturally someone of Depp's superstar status needs to fork out a truckload of money on security, but $3.6 million a year on staff seems a tad excessive. Here's hoping Johnny paid his domestic army well and didn't just have 5000 of them!
4. From Fine Wine To Poverty Line
After his particularly nasty split from Amber Heard, Depp was allegedly spending a staggering $30,000 a month on wine. That's the average starter salary of a teacher in Montana being gulped down the gullet every 30 days.
5. Storage Wars
Imagine having so much stuff that you had to pay someone to archive it so you knew where the hell it was. Depp allegedly has 12 storage facilities crammed full of collectibles including guitars, painting and jewellery that cost a staggering $1 million to archive.
6. A Plethora Of Plush Pads
According to legal documents, Depp has purchased 14 houses throughout his career and lavished them in lashings of sweet renovation cash. He has since sold a handful of his plush pads to try and rake back some financial stability.
Today he owns five houses in the Hollywood Hills, an atoll in the Bahamas and an entire French hamlet, the whole lot is estimated to be worth around $50 million to $60 million.
Despite his dire finances, Depp was reportedly still pretty house happy until recently and a leaked text of the actor's response when he was advised now was not a good time to buy more property is pretty telling:
"I will call tracey [Jacobs] and jake [Bloom]," Depp allegedly replied via email, "and prepare them to make some ludicrous deals to refill the glass and make it f—ing overflow!!! Whatever we have to acquire 1480, let's do!!!! WE MUST BUY THIS HOUSE!!!"
7. Drunken Diamonds
Stars, they are just like us; particularly when it comes to being vulnerable to making ridiculous purchases while under the influence.
An observer reported that, after being plied with champagne, Depp spent $400,000 on a diamond cuff:
"He walked into a [high-end jewelry] store, sat for a couple of hours. They showed him a lot of stuff, gave him champagne, and he walked out with a $400,000 diamond cuff. It was a classic sort of moment because it wasn't worth $400,000."
8. The Tax Man Cometh
If reports from the set of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie are anything to go by, Depp isn't much of a timekeeper and a whopping $8.3 million in interest and penalties for late taxes seems to confirm that.
9. Blasting The Cash
One of the most outlandish purchases by Depp was a cannon to blast his dead friend's ashes (and his own money) into the atmosphere. While honoring Hunter S. Thompson's last wishes was undeniably a noble thing to do, perhaps the 153-foot-tower and $5 million price tag was a little excessive.
What does the man himself have to say about all this? In a rare interview with the Wall Street Journal, Depp told interviewers that "It's my money. If I want to buy 15,000 cotton balls a day, it's my thing." So there.
Treat yourself like Johnny and read the full Hollywood Reporter piece here, you won't regret it.
Do you think Johnny Depp's financial troubles are of his own making or are his managers to blame?