With Season three premiering last night, How To Get Away With Murder proved it was still on top ‘gasp-a-minute’ form as it revealed shocker after shocker from the get go. When we weren’t busy fretting over Annalise’s choice to hide a burner phone in a jewelry box, recoiling in horror at the introduction of ‘Mr. Drake’ the new ultra-prick on campus or wailing in disbelief as 'Coliver' disintegrated before our very eyes, we were speculating over who owned the dead body introduced at the very end of the episode.
But all of these moments of suspense, drama and surprise combined could not compare to the stunning spectacle we were to behold but five minutes in to the show. With precious little on-screen time, instead being mentioned more in passing either by Laurel attempting (and failing) to get through to his mobile or Annalise telling Bonnie that she could never have him killed (after already hiring a hitman), Frank had to make every moment of his physical presence count. And oh, how we were rewarded.
Like Britney, Demi and Charlize before him, a now on-the-run Frank picked up an electric razor, stared himself down in the mirror of some precariously lit motel bathroom and emerged like a glorious prison-bait peacock with a new, spectacular buzzcut. To give this ravishing transformation the true justice it deserves, let’s take a look at just how this dangerously handsome man managed to evolve into an even buffer version of his former, hairier self.
1. Frank's Pre-Shaved Fuzzy Face
Before the razor-madness began, Frank was busy convincing Wes that it was a great idea to go and meet his evil corporate father on the street after a busy day at his evil corporate job and reveal himself as his illegitimate son. After this goes rather spectacularly wrong due to said corporate father getting a bullet in his head, Frank and Frank's car mysteriously vanish from the scene.
2. Queue Angsty Motel Bathroom Navel Gazing
Having fled the scene leaving all fingers pointing at him as the murderer, which no doubt will be thrown in to doubt a few episodes down the line, Frank does what we'd all do, and strips off in a dodgy motel bathroom. For maximum topless-mirror effect he, unlike most normal people, decides not to take his shirt off one arm at a time, but instead chooses to reveal his impressive barrel-like torso in a bizarre two-arm shirt wriggle. Like Houdini but without the strait jacket.
3. Enter The Pensive Pre-Shave Stare
Before every large life-changing decision lies an intense, impenetrable stare at your own reflection. Frank proves that he is no stranger to this process, and even throws in a cheeky half-pout for free.
4. Let the Shearing Commence
And so the mad shearing frenzy begins, with a lovely dry-shave of his amply full beard. Showering both himself and the motel sink in what looks like a wave of bristly pubes, we held our baited breath to see how he'd look like sans-facial-fuzz.
5. First Comes The Beard, Then Comes Mop
Teasing us with his newly fresh baby-face, Frank deftly applies the razor to his precious angel locks, never once averting his gaze away from his own, intense eyes. However, opting to start with an inverse mohican did rob us of the chance to see him briefly embody his inner punk.
6. The Final Reveal: Brad Pitt
If you take a Frank and shave him, apparently you get Brad Pitt circa Ocean's Twelve. God only knows how many men Brad Pitt is lurking behind if only they could get access to an electric shaver and a dirty motel mirror. Frankly, we couldn't be more delighted with Frank's transformation, we only hope he fairs better than his buzzcut doppelgänger facing the trial of a celebrity divorce.
Do you prefer a fuzzy-faced Frank or a bald-eagle Frank?