Banned in France, Australia, Singapore and Spain, and with a record-breaking 19 minutes cut in the USA, you probably shouldn't watch A Serbian Film...and now you don't have to!
The most controversial movie of the decade, in 14 easy steps! Constant spoilers, obviously.
1. Milos - who looks a lot like Bill Paxton - is a retired porn star.
Milos' other hits include Acockalypse Now, Top Crotch, The Silence of the Ass, Class of 69, Penis From Heaven and Rumble in the Cocks, just FYI.
2. Milos is persuaded to make one more movie by the shady Vukmir.
Freaky goatee like Satan himself? Check. Weird theories about sexuality? Check. Don't work for this guy!
3. The first day of filming is pretty horrible.
A burly guard (Resa) holds Milos at gunpoint. Milos is forced to punch a woman and ejaculate in her face. While her daughter (Jeca) watches. Bad times.
4. Milos wants to quit, but Vukmir insists he watch a video of his proudest work.
This is a genre called 'newborn porn'; a man delivering then raping a baby. Milos looks as horrified as I would, and quits.
5. Uh-oh, Milos. I think Vukmir slipped a roofie in your Scotch.
In a WTF wake-up call that makes The Hangover seem like a Ladies Club brunch, Milos wakes up in his own bed, covered in blood. He's been out for three days.
6. Milos, confused and drugged with cattle viagra, is led to a bed...
...where he's made to have sex with the same blonde lady, while simultaneously chopping her head off with a machete. It's quite messy and unpleasant.
7. Milos finds a tape of Resa raping him while he's unconscious.
Outrageous! The snuff movie continues as a masked man pulls a woman's teeth out, then suffocates her with his penis. Milos is taken to a weird house.
8. A creepy old lady tells Milos to have sex with her granddaughter.
Milos is pissed. He threatens to cut his wang off so no-one can make him do any more horrible sex things, then escapes by jumping out of a window.
9. In his drugged state, Milos is recaptured quite easily.
A weird woman in a nurse outfit with no undies on tries to inject him with substances unknown. He sticks the needle in her neck. Take that!
10. Milos is forced to vigorously bang one of two bodies under a sheet.
A masked figure joins him and starts thrusting into the other. Dude, who are we boning? Obvs, Vukmir is filming all of this, the perv.
11. Turns out, the masked man is Milos' brother (Marko)!
The sheet is removed. Marko is currently raping Milos' unconcious wife (Marija). Milos has been unwittingly violating...his own 6-year-old son, Petar.
12. Milos bashes Vukmir's head in. Maria bites Marko's throat out.
Milos shoots all of Vukmir's henchmen. Then he stabs Rasa in the eye with his penis. IDK I can't even.
13. Milos' family are, understandably, quite traumatized by now.
Milos gathers them in bed, and shoots himself, Marija and Petar with one single bullet.
14. We see that 3 men have been filming Milos killing his family.
One unzips his fly and approaches the three dead bodies. The director says 'start with the little one.' THE END!
Here's the trailer, in case all of that didn't put you off enough!
And the whole movie is an hyperbolic allegory about festering corruption in the Serbian government. Enjoy!