This years Halloween has brought with it, many surprises. From Hilary Duff revealing that she’s a secret racist to Bette Middler raising her epic Hocus Pocus character from the dead, but the real horror of All Hallow’s Eve 2016? Madonna may be "causing a commotion" all over Idris Elba’s "borderline" perfect body. I.e. They hooked up and the world is currently reeling from the hideous mental image of this most recent celebrity copulation scandal.
As With Most Things, It Started With An Instagram Picture.
This is Madonna ringside at Elba’s kickboxing match in London (yes, he is apparently a professional kick boxer as well as an actor and DJ) and we all know what that means. When a celebrity is given VIP seats at another celebrities event it can only mean one of three things:
- They’re sleeping together
- They desperately need each others mutual media attention
- They’re blackmailing each other
Trusted Eye Witness Accounts
Judging by what well trusted news source, the UK’s tabloid ‘The Sun’ has revealed from a ‘source’ however, it seems very much like it is the first of those options. Upon arriving at a London restaurant after the match, the ‘source' stated that:
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Idris (Cock)Blocks The Allegations
In a classic Elba move, Idris faced the rumor mill head on, telling all us Madris/Elbonna believers that our dreams/nightmares of a budding relationship between the unlikely pair were categorically a no-go. When someone throws in a Public Enemy lyric, you know they mean exactly that they say.
Madonna Responds In Her Own 'Unique' Way
Refusing to comment directly on their relationship, Madonna instead focused her attention into perfecting her inspired Halloween clown costume. Mirroring Elba's Tweet however, she also made use of the same Tweeted profanity, shouting "trick or mother fu*king treat" before humping a Donald Trump lookalike on the street and telling him he needs to be "out on the boat."
Never change Madonna.