ByWill Wharton, writer at
Creative Director
Will Wharton

Picture this scene: You're a nine-year-old Washington D.C.-based child. One who really, really doesn't want to be dragged down to the convention center to see a benefit concert for military families. It's going to be nothing but cutesy live acts for little kids and nothing there at all you can enjoy (because at nine, you're way beyond that).

Well, that's where you're wrong, my lad. is attending, and she's promised to bring two of her friends with her.

Miss Perry stunned fans when she emerged on stage over the weekend wearing what can only be described as the Star Spangled Banner-meets-Baywatch-meets-Wonder Woman-meets-ice cream. If you took all of those things and draped them over a yappy singer with gigantic... fireworks ... then you might have something close to what fans enjoyed this past weekend.

Here are some choice photos of the event, presumably taken by one of the hundreds of children who attended the event. They're here for your enjoyment because you people are clearly still struggling through complex psycho-sexual mental issues. All I ask in return is that you spare a thought for the 300-odd kids who thanks to Miss Perry are now waking up to a whole set of their own.


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